The Salt Lake Tribune
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Church vs Internet
The LDS Church's legal assault on Wikileaks over the posting of its confidential Church Handbook of Instructions is earning the Mormon Church unfavorable comparisons to the Church of Scientology. Says Daily Tech:
The LDS, following in the questionable steps of the Church of Scientology, has now issued multiple copyright infringement notices in an effort to get the information taken down. As we know, this strategy is unlikely to do anything but win the Mormons a share of the online community's unsympathetic attention, a quantity that until now Scientology has been enjoying alone.

Tech Daily points out, alas, the LDS information is vastly more bland than Scientology's near-incomprehensible secrets, including this bit of gibberish:

This same pattern, but given in an amusement park with a single tunnel, a roller coaster and a Ferris wheel, was used between about 319 trillion years ago to about 256 trillion trillion years ago, a long span.

Who's got a decoder ring?

The LDS handbook covers disfellowshipment, excommunication and a lot of "humdrum procedural information," that few members would read if the church required it. Says Tech Daily:

Now that the Internet is getting better at sniffing out documents that people don't want public, we're getting a nice picture of how much of this secret information was secret for its own sake. In other words, you have to wonder if there's any reason for LDS to want to keep its boring bylaws in a vault other than, simply, because it has always done so.

Mitt's gay agenda?
The California Supreme Court ruled today that same-sex couples should be permitted to marry, rejecting state marriage laws as discriminatory.

That, of course, will not end the battle. Now, California anti-gay marriage activists may push for a constitutional ban on same-sex unions similar to Utah's.

Meanwhile, Reason, the libertarian web site, ponders what the decision means on the presidential stage — and to Mitt's next run for president.
Politically, I suppose this is bad news for the Democrats, but not nearly as much as in 2004. For one, it's not coming out of a candidate's home state. For another, John McCain voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment: He can't demagogue this, and he won't. And finally, the issue's simply becoming less volcanic as the issue is normalized. The way things are going, Mitt Romney will be leading a pro-gay marriage campaign by 2016 or so.
Sugar House refugee camp
As Salt Lake's newest boutiquedom, complete with a Crate and Barrel, rises in the ruins of once-funky Sugar House, City Weekly looks for hope for saving the endangered funkiness of Salt Lake's old red-light district, anchored at Second South 600 West.

This warehouse district, which lies in the shadow of Gateway mall, could be the city's next hip shopping and dining district, reports City Weekly's Ted McDonough. Or it could follow in the footsteps of Sugar House and be transformed into what would amount to a Gateway annex, anchored by the likes of Olive Garden and Aeropostale. It's enough to make you nostalgic for the hookers.

Edith Welker, a UofU urban-planning student and a charter member of the failed "Save Sugar House" effort, points to a recent survey of the area that borders the new transit hub:
As cool as Sugar House was, this could be even cooler.
Welker says the west-side warehouses could become home to the same kinds of ever-moving, fiddler crab-like businesses that made Sugar House a destination for hipsters. But the transformation, says, would be short-lived, unless the city protects it as an historic district because “There aren’t any cool developers here.”
What's wrong with Huckabee?
I wrote recently about Barack Obama's superfriend in Park City, Kristi Cumming, whom Utah Democrats last week rewarded for her loyal support and fundraising efforts by making her a superdelegate to the national convention.

An observant and plugged-in reader sent this link to me that shows Cumming, daughter-in-law of Ian Cumming, Utah's long-time Democratic party patron, covered her bases in political giving by personally contributing equally to the campaigns of Obama ($2,300), Hillary Clinton ($2,300) and, gasp, Mitt Romney ($2,300).
UTA: Talk to the hand
The Tribune's new blog, The Vault, which is an ongoing discussion of public access to government records, reports on a slick bureaucratic solution to government's oldest annoyance: kvetching citizens.

Public hearings have always been a place for a citizen to stand up in front of his community and vent, yammer, bellyache, perhaps even inform. At it's best, it forces some debate with policy makers and, if nothing else, alerts the apathetic majority, that:
"Hey, my neighbors are pissed. What the heck is going on?"
But increasingly, agencies are holding to open meetings without microphones or even an opportunity for citizens to howl — or even an official to howl at. Instead, you sit at a table with a court-reporter who takes down your rant. This "efficient" process nicely insulates public officials who are busy cramming stuff down your throat. Later, the officials can (or not) read your oratory. They might even print it up and put it in a file somewhere.

The latest example was a UTA "public hearing" on a rate increase (UTA prefers the term "surcharge"). The UTA board wasn't there, of course, just a court reporter to take dictation.

A group of disabled bus riders and advocates for the poor left in protest when they were denied an opportunity to speak out.

UTA general manager John Inglish lamented that it was "unfortunate they decided to leave" before they got their voices heard.
What bad publicity?
A mother, who claims her son was sexually assaulted at a Mormon ward house in Methuen, Mass., has filed a lawsuit against the LDS church. She says the church allowed a sexual predator, Kevin Curlew, to work as a church baby sitter even though he had a criminal record for sexual abuse.

When the mother told ward officials of the incident in 2005, the suit says, they did not report it immediately, but "attempted to silence the mother in order to avoid bad publicity." Police detectives also complained of the ward's reluctance to cooperate with the investigation.

The mother, whose name is not being released to protect the son's identity, says:
I brought this action only after it became came clear that the Church's concern was not with my son's welfare, but with protecting themselves from bad publicity.I was horrified that after I told the Church officials about the abuse, they still allowed the perpetrator free reign at the Church, and my son was terrified.
Curlew confessed to the assault and has been sentenced to 9 to 10 years. In the course of the investigation, the Methuen police also arrested another ward volunteer, Peter Paquette, for failing to register as a sex offender. But detectives complained it was two weeks after weeks after Curlew's arrest before the Church allowed them access to its member list.
Rise of hate?
Residents of the Mesa, Arizona, fear their community is turning into a breeding ground for hate crimes against Latino immigrants and Mormons.

At a community meeting that followed an attack on two teens apparently because they are Mormon, Bill Strauss of the Anti-Defamation League, said he is concerned about mounting animosity toward Latinos and a dormant prejudice against LDS members:
I’m scared to death of what might happen in Arizona. This is America; this isn’t supposed to happen here. This is the legacy we have been left with — unfortunately it is oftentimes not true,”
In the recent incident, which police are investigating as a hate crime, two teenagers had carved swastikas into their wrists. The duo later shot at two Mormon teenagers with pellet guns, then beat them, sending one to the hospital.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
The pitcher of warm spit
The Hill asked all 97 senators who are not running for president the same question: “If you were asked, would you accept an offer to be the VP nominee?”

The senators' answers broke down into two categories: The windy majority who took the question seriously and those who did not. Utah's senators represented each category.

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah)
“Not on your life. I would not be asked anyway. I don’t know anybody who wouldn’t do whatever’s best for the country, but in my case it’s just not going to happen.”
Sen. Bob Bennett (R-Utah)
“Of course. Big house, big car, not much to do. Why not?”
Here are some of the better answers:

Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.)

“Absolutely. Absolutely. I think I would be great. First of all, I know how to behave at weddings and funerals. And I know how to be commander in chief. I’d bring a lot of fun to the job. We would rock the Naval Observatory.”
Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.)
“I plan to stick with my current job until I get the hang of it.”
Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kan.)
“No. I don’t cut ribbons well or give eulogies at funerals.”
Sen. Tom Carper (D-Del.)
“Yes. Sign me up. I’ve been kidding people for years: The hours are better, the wages are just as good — whoever heard of a vice president getting shot at? — and it’s a great opportunity to travel. And actually since time has gone by, the job is robust … So sure. Anybody here would, if they’re going to be honest. The chances are slim to none. But I promise you, I would deliver all three of Delaware’s electoral votes.
Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho)
“I would say ‘No, Hillary.’ ”
Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.)
“No. I don’t like going to funerals.”
Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.)
"No. I enjoy life too much.”
Sen. Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii)
“If I were asked, I would say, ‘You’re out of your mind.’ ”
Sen. Roger Wicker (R-Miss.)
“The chances of that are so remote that I’m more likely to be hit by an asteroid.”
Photos above: Veep classics — Spiro Agnew and Dan Quayle.
Obama's PC connection
The Park Record reports on Barack Obama's friend in Snyderville Basin: Kristi Cumming.

Last week, the 41-year-old former U.S. Ski Team racer (and daughter-in-law of Ian Cumming, Utah's long-time Democratic party money bags before he decamped to Jackson Hole) became one of Utah's superdelegates to the national Democratic convention, putting her in a key position to help Obama clinch the nomination.

Utah democrats bestowed the honor on Cumming in large part because she and her husband John hosted Obama at their house for a fundraiser in August. It not only raised $250,000 for Obama, but triggered an enthusiastic, if impromtu public rally near Kimball Junction that proved Obama has appeal in Utah that surprised even Democrats.
Texas' other polygamists
The Associated Press reports on Texas' other polygamous cult — the House of Yahweh, that operates about two hours drive from the FLDS compound in Eldorado.

The cult's founder Yisrayl Hawkins (he was born Buffalo Bill Hawkins but legally changed his first name, I guess, because it wasn't batshit-crazy enough) is a former Abilene police officer who was fired in 1980 for having beer in his patrol car. He moved his group to rural Clyde, Texas, because they needed more space to celebrate week-long Old Testament feasts. And yes, they practice polygamy or face going to Hell.

House of Yahweh members change their last name to Hawkins and take first names from the Old Testament, but spell them with a sprinkling of 'y's, like their leader. They keep semi-tractor trailers loaded with canned goods in preparation for the end of the world.

And you thought the FLDS Yearning for Zion Ranch was weird.

Texas authorities are looking into charges against the House's leaders for incidents that include sexual abuse, bigamy, welfare fraud, and an unusual death or two.

Callahan County District Attorney Shane Deel says:

If a bunch of adults want to get together and follow some con man and throw their lives away, that's their right in this country. But to me, when you do that to children and they don't have a chance, that's where the biggest concern is.

Wikitrouble
The LDS Church has filed a copyright infringement claim against the Wikimedia Foundation for publishing a "Church Handbook of Instructions," a two-volume guide to policies for church leaders. It's the first time such a claim has been filed against the non-profit Internet information distribution network.

Wikinews obtained the "Church Handbook of Instructions" through Wikileaks, a whistleblower website that publishes sensitive documents while protecting the identities of contributors.

Wikileaks says the Church Handbook "...is strictly confidential among the Mormon bishops and stake presidents and it reveals the procedure of handling confidential matters related to tithing payment, excommunication, baptism and doctrine teaching (indoctrination)."
NBA's 'Most disgusting fans'

Utah Jazz fans take pride in providing, what most players agree is the loudest, most intimidating arena in the NBA. But LA Lakers fans are horrified by a series of incidents in Game Four of the semi-finals that they say crossed the line of not only taste, but humanity.
As Derek Fisher went to the line to shoot free throw after a technical foul, a fan behind the basket covered his left eye and began screaming at the Lakers' point guard.
A litte background here:
Fisher's daughter, Tatum, is diagnosed with Retinoblastoma, a cancer that affects the eyes.
Several fans who attended the game have said that some Jazz fans were chanting "cancer" over and over again when Fisher would touch the ball or shoot free throws.
Lakers fan Matt Azzam says of the photo above:
It's a classless, immature grown man who represents the majority of Utah fans. Like all teams, there are some rowdy fans, but Jazz fans cross the limits.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Aborting Mitt's past
Anti-abortion groups are suspicious about the motives of the influential blog Politico for running an item that rubs conservatives' noses in Mitt Romney's waffling stance on abortion. Mitt supported abortion rights as governor of Massachusetts, but was born again as a right to lifer when he ran for president as a "true conservative."

Politico reacted with mirth to news that two Mitt supporters have been appointed chairs of the anti-abortion Susan B. Anthony List:

Conservatives seem to be snickering over the latest Susan B. Anthony List update.

... Importantly, SBA’s No. 1 goal is to end abortion in this country.

This is why some find it highly interesting that the two new co-chairs of the SBA List are former Mitt Romney folk: Barbara Comstock and Cesar Conda.

Still, heads are shaking at the news — especially considering Romney’s abortion-rights past. And, even better: SBA is also holding a fundraiser ($500 a head) with who as its highlighted star of the night? Mitt Romney.

“Having Romney headline a SBA event doesn’t pass the laugh test in town among real conservatives,” snickered one self-described “real conservative” who went on to ask: “Two senior Romney people in charge of the SBA? Are they trying to kill the institution?”

LifeNews.com wonders if Politico is trying to split dissension among anti-abortion groups.

Zephyr gets second wind online
One of red-rock Utah's icons, Moab's outspoken Canyon Country Zephyr soon will no longer appear in print.

The Zephyr, with its famous caricatures of advertisers, nostalgia for Moab's old days and refreshingly ornery disposition, will continue online, says owner/publisher/editor/writer/driver Jim Stiles, but, after five more issues, will no longer flop down in coffee shops and cafes across the state.

Stiles admits his relentless criticism of Moab's growth from an eclectic mix of river runners, hippies, ranchers and uranium miners into an amenities economy has made it impossible to bring in enough money to support the Zephyr in print. It says something good about the Zephyr that Stiles has been denounced by developers and environmentalists.

Though his long-time advertisers remain loyal, Stiles says new advertisers are hard to attract. Of course, his saying things like, "Moab has no soul. It's just a real estate market..." and cartoons like the one above — while true and important — also enrage the town's new growth-dependent business owners.
Seldom do the new owners want to continue with the Zephyr ads, and I don't blame them. I speak my mind and take my lumps. The Zephyr's message is hardly the philosophy they dare embrace if they hope to assure their own survival....

I take my job seriously, and have always believed that being honest and even-handed, regardless of the consequences, was essential to good journalism. And so for the last ten years, I have tried to inform my readers of the impacts the amenities economy can create, even when it put me at odds with my own friends and the very advertisers who keep this paper alive.

Stiles says that after the February-March 2009 edition, readers will be offered a PDF online version of the Zephyr that will look exactly as it does now (except with more color). "Yes, the cartoons will still be there. It's the only paper I ever heard of that people tell me they read the ads before the stories."

Still, he admits, he will miss holding the paper Zephyr in his hands. "It actually hurts to think about it."

Stiles says by eliminating printing and distribution costs (he uses an '86 GMC pickup), "I'm hoping I can cut my ad rates by 50 percent."

I fear that as old Moab's characters die off to be replaced by rich retirees, baristas and Realtors, the Zephyr will become as endangered as the humpbacked chub, another southern Utah old-timer developers have no use for.
No peace for the dead
The New York Times is calling for a criminal investigation of the Crandall coal mine disaster in Huntington Canyon.
There will be no peace for the dead — and no deterrence of future disasters — until there is a criminal investigation.
Six miners and three rescue workers were killed in the disaster last summer after seismic "bounces" rocked the mountain collapsing mine passages. The bodies of the six were never recovered and the mine has become their tomb.
A detailed House investigation has concluded that high-risk mining techniques — and a clear intent to conceal problems — was at the heart of the Utah disaster. The finding is a red alert for miners’ safety, as the coal industry once again booms under the questionable watch of a regulatory bureaucracy bristling with the Bush administration’s pro-industry appointees.
Above: Mine owner Bob Murray.
Herbert loses a friend
Lt. Governor Gary Herbert has been running for higher office since he was elected — just look at his web site festooned with photos of Herbert shmoozing state officials.

But now, thanks to his over-zealous chief of staff, we know whose seat he's targeting. Bob Bennett, watch your back.

Herbert's chief of staff Joe Demma, whom we can only deduce has suffered a severe head injury, updated his online Facebook page to read:
Joseph Michael Demma's Boss (just re-nominated for Lt. Gov) is now a candidate for the U.S. Senate in 2010!
Demma followed up by firing off messages from his Blackberry to several powerful Republicans, bragging:
Our LG will, unless he becomes GOV in the interim, file to run as a GOP representative for the US Senate seat in 2010, regardless of who might also be in that race - the incumbent, included.
Herbert is denying he is salivating over Uncle Bob's senate seat:
I have absolutely zero, less than zero, interest of running for Senate, certainly against my good friend Robert Bennett.
'Ashamed of being a Texan'
Texas mental health workers who cared for FLDS women and children are decrying the conditions in child protective custody after the raid on the polygamous compound as callous and unhealthy.

One of nine statements to their agency's board says:

Never in all my life have I been so ashamed of being a Texan and seeing what and how our government agencies treat people.
Board chairman John Kight wants to pass the statements on to the Texas governor and lawmakers:
You have damaged these children for their lives. This is an agency that looks like it's gone out of control.
So how is it that Texas
Baptists are patting themselves on the back for their work with the same FLDS children? In an article that smacks of feel-good propaganda, Church Executive News reports:

Although Texas officials have taken some criticism for removing hundreds of children from a religious compound, the Baptist agency caring for them has earned praise from the most important people: the children themselves.

Baptist Child and Family Services executive vice president Nanci Gibbons recalled meeting a FLDS 6-year-old girl who remarked on the "BCFS" logo on Gibbons shirt :

"You’re nice," the girl said.

"Why, thank you," Gibbons replied, "but how do you know I’m nice?"

"Because your shirt says 'BCFS,'" the girl answered, "and you know what BCFS stands for, don’t you?"... It means, 'Best Care for Children.'


Monday, May 12, 2008
The S-word
The word "squaw" is being removed from place names across the nation. But no proposals have been made to rename any of Utah's 40 geographic features that include the term, considered derogatory by many American Indians.

Utah Committee on Geographic Names executive secretary Susan Whetstone says:
It's kind of a two-sided coin. Some tribes don't necessarily regard it as derogatory.

Linguists differ on whether squaw is a corruption of an Algonquian word that means woman or a Mohawk word "ojiskwa" — a derogatory term for female genitalia.

Ed Naranjo, vice chairman of the Confederated Tribes of the Goshute Reservation at Ibapah, has no doubts about the word, telling the Deseret News:

That's an insult. It's like cussing someone out or calling them a name.

Lesser of evils, again
Utah Republicans may control the state, but you've got to feel for them in the soul-rending choices they have to make in their primaries.

At last weekend's state convention, GOP right-wing lunacy has once again thrown Congressman Chris Cannon into a primary. Now, normal Republicans will have to sort things out. I doubt anyone in the Third District really likes Chris. Ultra-conservatives see him as a sellout and the rest accept him as the GOP's crazy old uncle who keeps slipping out of the attic.

But he keeps getting re-elected because the ultra-right wing convention delegates always offer up an option that is even worse. (It goes without saying that, for Republicans, crossing over to vote for a Democrat in the Third is unthinkable.) Remember John Jacob in 2004, who insisted that Satan was meddling in his campaign?

This year Cannon faces Jason Chaffetz, a one-time multi-level marketing executive and Jon Huntsman's former chief of staff. Chaffetz left that "dream job" in 2005, insisting he was not fired. Public service, he explained, just doesn't pay enough (as Huntsman's chief of staff he got $118,000) and interfered with his family life. Apparently, being a congressman leaves more quality time for the kids.

Chaffetz's NuSkin selling experience comes in handy in playing the Utah County heartstrings: Jason's a BYU grad "committed to the constitution... and dedicated to conservative principles." He likes to end debates by saying, "God bless America and God bless you." (I hope you weren't eating when you read that.)

The reasonable choice, Juab County polygamy fighter David Leavitt, was knocked out at the convention and threw his support to Cannon. Chris, who has been through this scenario so many times before, gave a backhanded endorsement to Leavitt, former Gov. Mike Leavitt's brother:
We expected Leavitt to come out ahead, but it's better to be in a primary with Chaffetz than Leavitt.
I don't know if the average Third District voter agrees.
Ron Paul's September surprise
The LA Times reports that supporters of GOP crank candidate Ron Paul — why does it not surprise me that some of his most zealous forces are in Utah — are plotting a revolt at the GOP national convention in September to embarrass John McCain.
Texas Rep. Ron Paul and his libertarian-minded GOP backers are collecting delegates at the local level and planning a revolt against Sen. John McCain at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul in September
Says the LATimes Andrew Malcolm:

Paul's presidential candidacy has been correctly dismissed all along in terms of winning the nomination. He was even excluded as irrelevant by Fox News from a nationally-televised GOP debate in New Hampshire.

But what's been largely overlooked is Paul's candidacy as a reflection of a powerful lingering dissatisfaction with the Arizona senator among the party's most conservative conservatives.

Paul's supporters been fighting a series of "guerrilla battles" with GOP officials at county and state conventions in several states, including Nevada and Washington. They hope to take control of local committees and boost their delegate totals to influence platform debates.
Idol dad booted
David Archuleta's father Jeff Archuleta has been bounced from backstage when his son is preparing for the show. Murray's favorite stage father reportedly was meddling with song lyrics.

According to the Associated Press, dad changed a lyric in "Stand by Me," costing the Fox network addition fees for the rights.

By adding a verse from Sean Kingston’s “Beautiful Girls” (based on "Stand By Me"), Jeff Archuletta incurred a whopping bill for “American Idol.”
Arizona hate-crime forum
Following an anti-Mormon attack on two teens, the Mesa, Ariz., Police Department is holding a community forum about hate crimes tonight.

Bill Strauss with the Arizona Anti-Defamation League says recent attacks on Mormons may linked to the raid on the FLDS compound in Texas.

We have noticed, in at least one school, an up-tick in anti-Mormon graffiti. I am starting to think that maybe the prominence in the headlines has got people thinking along the lines of the Mormon faith and what makes them different.

Two Gilbert, Ariz., teens were shot at with a pellet gun, then attacked physically and verbally by two other teens, who asked the victims whether they were Mormon.

The suspects, later arrested, face charges of aggravated assault, disorderly conduct and illegal consumption of alcohol.

'Ruined and ransacked families'
As pressure builds for Canadian authorities to investigate the polygamous town of Bountiful in British Columbia, one of the settlement's leaders is speaking out.

In an exchange of e-mails with the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, Winston Blackmore, the leader of more than half the polygamists in Bountiful, says he is angered by Texas' decision last month to remove 463 children from their parents at an FLDS ranch near San Angelo. But he also blames FLDS leader Warren Jeffs for the children's trauma.

I do not like what the state of Texas has done to those people, and strongly urge them to get the children back to their mothers. The children have already been traumatized by their church and now the state. Oh, God, how much more suffering can the children stand?

Jeffs, the jailed leader of the FLDS who make up about 40 percent of Bountiful's polygamists, was convicted in Utah on accessory to rape charges. Blackmore says Jeffs "has ruined hundreds of families of men who were in our faith":

Most of the people in the Texas compound are the spoils of ruined and ransacked families taken by Warren and those faithful to his new teachings.
Blackmore, who has at least 20 wives, may have his own problems with Canadian authorities.

Mitt's fundamental problem
Like China's Last Emperor happily agreeing to reign over a puppet state in Manchuria after being deposed by the Japanese, Romney is presiding over various local--and less desirable--Republican events on McCain's behalf...

Worse, according to a Deseret News report, the recent raid on that really creepy fundamentalist Mormon compound in Texas could destroy Mitt's chances to be picked for McCain's No. 2.

Kirk Jowers, of the U's Hinckley Institute of Politics says:

Unfortunately, the FLDS issue has probably elevated considerations about what Romney's faith would do to the ticket.
Many Americans, it seems, can't tell the difference between LDS Mormons and the FLDS, who take multiple wives, including underage ones. Add that to earlier surveys that found that many Americans are dubious of any kind of Mormon president and Mitt's got a problem.

One call, that's all...
A survey finds that Utah's lawyers are concerned that the legal system favors the wealthy over the average Joe.

The rest of us figured that out in about 200 B.C.

According to the story:
In a Law Day (May 1) survey of 50 Utah Bar Association lawyers, 31 percent said the system's No. 1 problem is ''only the rich are getting results . . . the poor and middle class can't afford legal services.''
The lawyer poll, of course, neglected to address a straightforward fix for the problem: pro bono. That's when lawyers, as part of their ethical responsibilities, take time off from representing the rich to offer free representation to poor folks.

The Utah Bar used to have a pro bono project. Now, the bar directs inquiries to Utah Legal Services at (801) 328-8891 or toll-free at (800) 662-4245.


Larry misses a heckuva game
For those who are new to Utah and the NBA and Planet Earth, ESPN offers another take on Larry Miller's favorite bit of lore about himself: Miller doesn't attend Jazz games if they fall on a Sunday.

Instead of being courtside to watch the Jazz beat the Lakers, 123-115, in Game 4 of the Western Conference semifinals, Miller was driving ESPN's Gene Wojciechowski into the trackless wastes, as Wojciechowski sees it, of Utah.
This is what he usually does on those rare times that the NBA and the networks schedule a Jazz regular-season or playoff game on a Sunday. He goes to church from 9 a.m. to noon, returns home, changes clothes, has a bite to eat, gets back in the car, and drives in a Jazz-free zone until the game is finished.
The New York Times outed Bree Kasten, a season-ticket holding Mormon, who attended the game:
I’m not supposed to come, but I did anyways. It’s kind of sad because my religion is supposed to be first and foremost to me, but it’s the Lakers and I couldn’t help it. I read my scripture before I came.
Wojciechowski offers several paragraphs of bad sports writing applied to the Utah scenery and Mormons, then is oblivious to the most significant moment in the journey:
We're near the Little Dell Reservoir. I know this because Miller, who was born and raised in Salt Lake City, is all excited about seeing the water levels of the reservoir. Nerd territory. And then he says he sometimes drives up here in his '63 Falcon convertible so he can listen to the meadowlarks.

I'm going to give Miller the benefit of the doubt and blame the meadowlarks thing on high altitude.
Larry, of course, is looking at the reservoir and thinking: Little Dell is finally filling up again. Maybe the Jazz drought has ended, too.
Friday, May 9, 2008
FLDS crimes against fashion
Fashion consultant Tim Gunn offers the FLDS women some tips:
Let's redefine the prairie dress, let's give this some style. Let's give it some chicness. Let's help these women look great!
The former chair of fashion design at Parsons The New School for Design thinks a wide patent leather belt, ballet flats and a little cleavage could make all the difference.
Bear facts
In a surprisingly bold statement, an attorney for the state of Utah says a camper vs. bear incident that caused the death of 11-year-old Samuel Ives last year, is the parents' and federal government's fault — not the state's.

Assistant attorney general Reed Stringham told the Deseret News.
It's not the state's fault. I hope that's the message that's been conveyed throughout this. It's a tragedy, but that doesn't mean the state is responsible.
Ives was camping with his family in American Fork Canyon when a black bear ripped a hole in their tent and dragged him out, mauled him. The family has sued, arguing the state, which manages wildlife, and federal government, which manages the campground, failed to warn campers that a bear that confronted other campers in the same area a day before. Had they been given that information, the family says it wouldn't have camped there.

But the state's answer to the suit is that any blame should be pinned on the U.S. Forest Service and Ives parents, who "negligently brought bear attractants, including food, soda and beer to the incident area and allowed attractants to remain in the area."
Their negligent acts attracted the bear to the area and caused the incident that is the subject of this lawsuit.
Sign of the apocalypse?
The devilish attraction of "American Idol" is a promotional bonanza for Fox. All Utah media — with the exception of the nerds at public television and radio — turned out for finalist David Archuleta's "homecoming" today.

The photo above is from Achuleta's autograph-signing appearance at Gateway Mall. Hundreds — maybe thousands — of screaming tweener princesses (Utah's junior highs must be decimated), their parents and a few queens, turned out in the rain to get a glimpse of the Mormon singing marvel as he pulled up in a limo. Most were holding signs that said stuff like, "Good Luck, David" and "I'll Stand By You."

Archuleta gave TV and radio interviews all morning. After Gateway, he will join Gov. Jon Huntsman at a Murray High School pep rally for native David at about 4 p.m. (I'm guessing the Guv, who is up for re-election, will offer to accompany on the piano.) Then at 7 p.m. Archuleta will kick off the Jazz-Lakers game with the National Anthem.

If you think Utah's pretty special, forget it. Fox has carbon-copied "homecomings" for all three Idol finalists that are proceeding apace in their hometowns:
David Cook will be in Kansas City, Missouri, where he will do a homecoming parade, interviews and sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at a Royals game.
Syesha Mercado will do a similar round of local events in Tampa, Fla., then sing the National Anthem at a Rays game in St. Petersburg.
Trib TV critic Vinny Horiuchi, who is probably ready to kill himself, is blogging on the excitement here.
And FOX will keep you abreast of the fall of Western civilization here.
Gary Gilmore lives on
It's always a shock to learn that Utah has an international impact on art — besides scrapbooking and clogging — that is.

After 13 years, British playwright Dic Edwards’ play, "Utah Blue," based on the life and execution of Gary Gilmore has been produced to rave reviews in Wales. Edwards presents Gilmore, "he of the famous eyes," as a remarkable man who quoted philosophers and artists with understanding, yet was foul-mouthed sociopath.

It starts and ends with an eerie kind of line-dance to Neil Young, the four characters staring blankly at the audience; in between there are multiple explosions of passion as each of them tries to express their individual cries for freedom from the claustrophobic world of Mormon repression.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for "Ka-Boom!" the musical based on the life of Mark Hofmann.
Mitt: It's OK to be an atheist
In a speech in Manhattan, Mitt Romney revisted his December address on faith in America and cleared up an oversight: atheists. Mitt says of nonbelievers in America: "We are all in this together."

Noting that he had been criticized for leaving nonbelievers out of his faith speech, Romney said:
I had missed an opportunity . . . an opportunity to clearly assert that non-believers have just as great a stake as believers in defending religious liberty. If a society takes it upon itself to prescribe and proscribe certain streams of belief — to prohibit certain less-favored strains of conscience — it may be the non-believer who is among the first to be condemned. A coercive monopoly of belief threatens everyone, whether we are talking about those who search the philosophies of men or follow the words of God.
Polygamy: 'epidemic lawlessness'
Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff promised Mormon fundamentalists at a St. George town meeting that he would not launch a large-scale raid similar to the one on the FLDS compound in Texas.
I know you are worried about that. We're not going to do it. We don't believe that is the answer.
About 500 people gathered to question a panel that included Shurtleff, Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard and a member of the fundamentalist group The Work of Jesus Christ. Many of the fundamentalists at the meeting indicated they are
related to children in custody in Texas. Shurtleff said he will help Utah relatives become foster parents to the FLDS children.

But a letter written by
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid may undermine any comfort the fundamentalists got from Shurtleff's words. Reid wrote Shurtleff and Goddard that a senior U.S. Justice Department prosecutor will work with Utah, Arizona and Nevada to decide how the federal government can help prosecute polygamy related crimes — the first step toward a federal polygamy task force. Reid, of Nevada, wrote:
Working together, I believe federal and state authorities can do even more to address the epidemic of lawlessness in polygamous communities throughout the southwestern United States.
And that approach delights Canadian authorities, who have their own FLDS-related community in Bountiful, British Columbia. B.C. representative Bill Bennett called for Canadian law enforcement to join with the United States on the polygamy issue.
Certainly from what I've been told, there is no doubt young women have been sent to Bountiful [B.C.] to marry older men and young women have been taken from Bountiful to marry older men in Colorado City, Arizona and in Utah.
Meanwhile, Texas authorities, who got the whole thing rolling, have discovered that few of the 464 FLDS kids they have in custody are immunized against diseases including chicken pox, polio, measles and smallpox. Some of the older children are refusing to be inoculated.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
EnergySolutions loses first round
A regional agency moved to block EnergySolutions from importing foreign nuclear waste to its dump in Tooele. The eight member states in the Northwest Interstate Compact on Low-level Radioactive Waste unanimously voted that the EnergySolutions' contract does not permit waste from foreign sources.

Val John Christensen, general counsel for EnergySolutions, assured the panel that foreign waste transactions have been routine, and most opposition is based on a "not in my backyard" attitude.

Round 2: EnergySolutions this week filed a federal lawsuit questioning whether the compact has the power to block it from importing foreign waste.

Can the pope misspeak himself?
Utah's Roman Catholic Bishop John Wester tells KSL's Carole Mikita that a Vatican letter "to keep the Latter-day Saints from microfilming and digitizing information contained in parish registers" is simply an administrative measure to protect confidential records.

This is not in any way an attack against The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In a baptismal record, for example, there could be a whole list of maiden names that somebody might want to use for not-so-good purposes, to break into a computer and get that like a password. Maybe somebody was adopted and the natural parents are not known, that kind of thing."

Nice try, Bish.

But the Vatican directive specifically names the LDS Genealogical Society of Utah, not generic identity thieves. In fact, the Rev. James Massa, executive director of the U.S. bishops' Secretariat of Ecumenical and Interreligious Affairs, acknowledged the step was taken to prevent the Mormons from using records to posthumously baptize the ancestors of Catholics, "so as not to cooperate with the erroneous practices of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints."

You have to feel for Utah's man in red. Despite growing numbers of Catholics in Zion, Wester still has to get along in a political culture dominated by the LDS Church.

Reaping the whirlwind
The wider impact of the April 5 raid on the polygamous compound in Texas is beginning to be reported on. The mayor of San Angelo, Texas, (population: 90,000) offers a first-person account of his sleepy town's reaction to what will be remembered as a historic event.

Mayor J.W. Lown was helping with a Keep America Beautiful cleanup when he heard the sheriff's office wouldn't be able to participate. Lown had no idea a political whirlwind was heading for his town.
[Sheriff's deputies] were at the FLDS compound -- which believers called the Yearning For Zion Ranch -- helping to serve a search warrant. Frankly, I didn't pay any more attention to the matter.

... Honestly, I had no inkling just how big this was all going to get.
Lown's folksy account chronicles everything from the town's shifting attitudes toward the FLDS to the local windmill becoming the favored backdrop for national television network standups.

While we San Angeloans have an independent frontier "live and let live" attitude, we have zero tolerance about the abuse of children. In many ways, the YFZ clan has done the "outside" world a great service by helping us recall a basic American tenet -- that no religion or group has the right to deny any American the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness. I'm sure I speak for the majority of my fellow San Angeloans.

Meanwhile, other news agencies are reporting that the raid has rattled polygamous sects as far away as Mexico. Reporting from the twin polygamous outposts of Colorado City and Hillsdale, The New York Times notes:
Rumors of an imminent Texas-style police crackdown — the authorities say none is contemplated — are among the new constants of life here, the historic heartland of the F.L.D.S. Some polygamists, who had considered moving to Texas, are putting down roots again here, even cooperating with the authorities. Others are speaking out publicly, trying to distinguish their forms of plural marriage (no under-age brides) from what the authorities say was practiced by the sect in Texas.
And the Dallas Morning News reports from Colonia LeBaron in Chihuahua, Mexico, that refugees from Eldordo, Texas, are not welcome in the historic polygamous colony. Lillian Tucker, a 40-year-old mother of 18 who practices polygamy, says she is against forcing minors into marriage:
The last thing we need here are a bunch of outlaws. I don't recommend anyone that's committing a crime or that's using religion to become a pedophile to come down here, because they're not going to be welcome.
Karl the sperm bank (its worse)

UPDATED: Malone could have been prosecuted for statutory rape.

In a story that should make his statue in front of EnergySolutions Arena hang its head, ESPN reports Karl Malone, second highest NBA scorer, is a loser when it comes to fatherhood.

Demetrius Bell, drafted by the Buffalo Bills in the seventh round, is the son Malone refuses to acknowledge. Bell shrugs it off:
I treat it as if my mother went to the sperm bank. I don't hate him for [not being in my life]. It made me a better person.
Linda Fantin of The Salt Lake Tribune wrote about Malone's spawning habits in 1998 and reported that Gloria Bell was only 13 years old when Malone fathered Demetrius. Malone was a college sophomore at Louisiana Tech. Says Buffalo News columnist Allen Wilson:

Malone might have served jail time had her family asked the district attorney to file criminal charges.
ESPN says Malone has never publicly mentioned Bell. Malone, who is making promotional appearances for the league, didn't respond to ES