The Onion, the satirical publication that bills itself "America's Finest News Source," reported that Mitt Romney has launched an attack ad on himself.
The ad ... features an unshaven and visibly crestfallen Romney taking himself to task on a number of key campaign issues, including health-care reform, illegal immigration, and "what's the use of even trying anymore?"

In the ad, Romney blasts "himself for a wide range of political shortcomings, from cutting back on education spending to being unable to remember the last time he took a shower."

The satire also quotes Romney using a blasphemous phrase, which seems unlikely, though we know that Mitt is fluent in the F-word. A March 6, 2002 story reported Mitt became enraged with an 18-year-old volunteer officer whose Snowbasin traffic direction fell short of Mitt's Olympic standards.

The officer told the Trib Romney asked the him who the "f---" he was and what the "f---" he was doing. Romney added, "We got the Olympics going on and we don't need this s--- going on."
Romney admitted losing his temper, but denied using the F-bomb, saying the last time he said the word was in high school.