The Deseret Morning News gets the award today for the strangest take on Super Tuesday.

Chuck Gates, who "has overseen the newspaper's presidential primary coverage," offers a hyper-cynical appraisal of the Utah primary that is, frankly, uncharacteristic of the DNews. "If you peer at Utah from outer space through the Hubble Telescope," he says, "you MIGHT be able to make out a very faint impression of national political relevance and influence — or is that the outline of Mitt Romney?" Yes, Gates even slaps Mitt around.

Not only does Chuck basically say, "Screw the primary," but he includes incomprehensible and unsettling shots at Obama and the candidate's wife Michelle. Says the DNews' Gates:

Charismatic O'Barack O'Bama cancelled his second personal appearance in Utah last week for fear of being upstaged by a cane. Instead, wife O'Michelle came courting Utah's black vote yesterday, but Jerry Sloan kicked her out of Jazz practice. There's still a chance, however, she can rally the support of the Carolyn Tanner Irish.

I get the cane reference to Hinckley, but what's the stuff about the Irish, Utah's Episcopalian bishop and black vote? Give me some footnotes, Chuck.

Simple, uncynical folks, above, flocked to vote at Washington Elementary in SLC today.