The Salt Lake Tribune
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Look upon us and weep!
Murray's crooner chokes.

To recapitulate the finale of American Idol:

Judge Randy Jackson to David Archuleta: Dude, you are so good tonight. You are exactly what this show is about.
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Judge Simon Cowell to Archuleta:You came out here tonight to win, and what we have witnessed is a knockout.

People who took the time to vote: Dude, 12 million of us like the other David better.

Archuleta*, lamely: Winning isn't the big concern. It's always doing your best. ... That's what's important.

SLCrawler: Gag...ralph, ralph.

Now we can focus on other stuff. Hey, I heard there was a earthquake somewhere. Speaking of which, David A., you cut the heart out of John Lennon's "Imagine." Here's the way it really goes:
Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
*BTW, Archuleta's favorite quote is "You'll never be lonely if you learn to befriend yourself." Is he talking about what I think he is? Ewwww.

3 Comments:

At May 22, 2008 12:20 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Crawler, You are so insensitive! You cast an ugly light on the very most important election going on in our country! We are in absolute shock over our boy not winning, and then you poke our collective briuse and LAUGH! Don't you see? We the People are now going to go through serious withdrawal, and what will we focus on? We are left to mourn as we clean up after all the parties we had in premature celebration of a win we were so SURE OF! All our attention has been riveted on this one important election! I know that I am not alone in saying that I have cast my ONLY vote of this election year: It is too bad the presidential elections arent a call-in/text-in vote! (Can McCain even sing anyway?) Or even better: We could have a Whats My Disaster game show where people call in and pledge to donate to a specific disaster, to see which disaster wins the popularity contest! Ya, You are major insensitive...I wonder why I got such a kick outta it?

 
At May 23, 2008 8:07 AM , Blogger pr0le said...

I agree with anonymous, and would like to add that you're surely going to hell for speaking ill of He Who Sings. I don't know if I can continue reading your blog; I'm worried you'll pull me down to the fiery afterlife with you.

 
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