Letting go
A billboard in Phoenix beckons to Mormons who have left the faith, saying:You are not alone!The sign is paid for by the Logan-based Post-Mormons group. One of the people who contributed to the billboard is Arizonian Paul Hahn, a former-missionary who left the LDS church after 20 years:
Mormonism, itself, is a culture. When you leave it, most of your friends are generally not going to be interested in continuing their friendships with you, so it is very important to find new people to hang out with.Don Evans, a spokesman for the LDS church in Arizona, confirms what has always puzzled me about ex-Mormons — they don't just get on with their lives:
Generally, what we find is that oftentimes people who leave the church don't leave quietly. They sometimes leave bitterly and want to make some sort of a statement.
14 Comments:
Wasn't there a Michael McLean song that came out in the lates 80's or early 90's that was entitled "You're Not Alone"?
Do you think the anti-Mormon's thought about that when they made this billboard?
Kind of ironic, don't you think?
Generally, oftentimes, and sometimes, people get a little angry when they figure out they have been lied to.
Having left the Jehovah's Witnesses when I was about 17, I had a lot of the same issues that ex-Mormons have when trying to figure out how life works in the "real world". Given that friendships were so fragile, making new friends isn't necessarily the easiest thing in the world.
And anonymous hit the nail on the head about being angry when you figure out you've been lied to (or used).
Some folks really are obsessed with hating a religion, you Trib commenters know who you are.
I think the sign is actually fine. It is completely true that the LDS church is in large part a social circle. When you stop going to your social circle events, of course you start to lose friendships. I guess some people don't move on to a new circle, so they are offering one up, though I'm not sure what it offers exactly.
It is very difficult when you leave a religion that has an all-encompassing rein on people's lives. Often times it's the center of social and family life as well. When people leave the LDS religion, often times they are left out in the cold by their friends and family who treat them like they are radioactive. It's good to have options for support.
You say people who leave church are often treated "like they are radioactive" - I haven't seen it much, I'm sure it does happen and those judgmental folks should be ashamed. You should never lose family or a best friend over it.
Please look from the other side though, for casual "neighborly" relationships at least...the vast majority of my socializing with people happens at church or church activities. I busy enough that I don't spend as much time with my closest friends nowadays, only my immediate family. If you leave my church and I don't see you much anymore it isn't because I'm avoiding you or think you are an outcast.
The Mormon Mafia runs this state. Everybody has 12 kids and they make sure they have everything. Not a member of The Church™ anymore? Go starve.
The LDS church has accumulated it's Microsoft sized fortune all tax free by exploiting the poorest people that live here in Utah and the US.
Smith stuck his face in a hat with two rocks and pulled out some outrageous story that the Native Americans all descended from Jews and he did mean *ALL*. So none of this back peddling, revisionist history apologetics, please.
Ever since the Mormons came and stole Utah from the Native Americans starting with Brigham Young, the theft has not stopped. Including Dixie Leavitt's build up of Mountain Fuel (now Questar) through stealing oil and gas leases from "incompetent" Indians.
The only way to find the American Dream in Utah is by becoming White and Mormon.
Wow, angry, angry and angry.
Have you been outside today?
I am nonwhite and nonLDS, and you know what, I am having a great day.
So, what have you done today to make it better?
I gave blood this morning, and I felt good for doing it.
Somtimes I see people that hate the Mormons, or hate white people, and I just wish they would focus on doing good so they would feel better and smile.
Angry? How about the truth? I don't think that's expecting too much from the people that claim to be members of "the only true church".
You think telling me I'm wrong is going to make this criticism go away?
Where I live it's a badge of honor to pull off some white collar crime and screw the government out of every last dime you can get.
I complained to my neighbor about this:
http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/246868/
His response?
"You have to come up with your own scam"
Friendo, I am not telling you you are wrong.
I am telling you that you seem angry.
The truth shall make you free!
So my friend, if you have found the truth, then Godbless.
But the truth should make you free, and that should make you happy.
Let these people find the truth in their own time, that's all I am saying.
And some may never find the peace or truth you have found...
Maybe they have found a different truth.
But if you have the truth, you should feel peaceful inside.
Go outside today and msile knowing you are at peace.
I am not some hippie, but I see so many people get uptight about something some Mormon said or did not say. Some Mormons are good, some are bad. So is life.
Relax and breath, my friend
Dear Friends,
I do not doubt the sincerity of the preceding commentators, nor do I dismiss the value of their insights. Obviously, they are the experts on how they experience their reality. However, from my perspective, some of their explanations for leaving "the Church" or "a church" seem a little bit over-simplified and self-serving.
I suppose that is completely understandable, given that all of us imperfect human beings tend to do that sort of thing. Thus, I believe there is great value in giving and receiving equally sincere feedback in order to broaden our minds, and compensate for the biases and blind spots we all have.
It is in that spirit in which I invite your feedback and offer my own:
1) Misty, I have known several Jehovah's Witnesses in my life. All of them were fine people -- like you. To my knowledge, none of them were liars.
So, when you suggest that you were "lied to" or "used," the natural question that comes to my mind is, "Who was it that did the lying and the using?"
Are you suggesting that the folks with whom you formerly worshipped were not sincerely trying to do what they thought was right? I doubt that. I imagine you would agree that, in their own imperfect way, most of them were doing the best they knew how to do.
Does that make them worthy of anger, or resentment, or ridicule, or persecution, or any of the other forms of abuse that are routinely dished out by the angry leftwing culture warriors out there? I don't think so. Do you?
2) Anonymous, I ask you the same question: Who lied to you? I am a Mormon. I have sat in too many LDS Ward Council meetings not to know how sincerely loved, and selflessly served, you have been. Imperfectly? Maybe. But, I have full confidence that the overwhelming majority of Mormons with whom you have had contact during your life were decent folk, doing the best they could. Were they sinners? Yes, every single one. Were they worse than you? Probably not.
I am not dealing with theory here. Rather, I am reporting my actual life experience as an eye witness from the inside. The Mormons with whom I worship generously donate their time, their talents, and their means in order to serve others -- both spiritually and temporally. They do this because they love God, and because they love their fellow man. They just want to do what is right, and they trying their best.
That is the truth I know. Thus, when I encounter broad condemnations of my people, or cruel ridicule directed toward them, it is the person pointing the finger that I experience as being the liar and the abuser. Am I wrong?
Love,
A.W.
I hope to live another 50 years so I can see how access to information due to the Internet impacts religions such as Mormonism.
I was in my late 30s when I learned the truth about the Book of "Abraham". Without the Internet, I may have never heard about it.
Increased access to information won't cause everyone to leave the LDS Church, but it is going to reduce the number of those coming in through the front door and increase the number going out the back door. This will be gradual, but the cumulative impact over time could be substantial.
I'd hate to be a missionary today, especially in a country where nearly everyone has access to the Internet. I would have to think that nearly every "investigator" runs to his computer just to check things out on the Internet within minutes of the missionaries leaving his house.
As a result, the quality of converts will decrease. Now, the LDS Church will attract mainly the less educated and emotionally desperate.
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Dear Anonymous,
In my view, “the truth about the Book of Abraham" is that it is true. The volume’s theologically sophisticated content, and spiritually powerful impact, provide sufficient evidence of this reality to me.
I don’t know what your issue with the book may be, but I am assuming the fact that the Egyptian Book of the Dead and the Book of Abraham incorporate the same hieroglyphics bothers you. But, my friend, that fact doesn’t bother me. And, it doesn’t bother a lot of other decent and intelligent folks out there either.
It is like everything else in life. Each of us gravitates to whatever explanation upholds the thing we want to believe. Thus, the cold hard truth of the matter is this:
1) I choose to believe the Church is true.
2) You choose to believe it is not.
3) For good or ill, what we choose to believe reveals something about us.
As for future missionary work, I imagine the Church will continue to attract the same kind of people that it has always attracted -- the humble. That’s not a bad thing, because, as somebody once famously observed, the Church doesn’t draw the great people of the earth so much as it strives to produce them.
I am a weak and foolish man. I have done many things in life that I regret.
The one entity that has never lied to me, that has always guided me to that which is truly fulfilling in life, that has consistently lifted me up and helped me to become a better person -- that has lead me to overflowing joy -- is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
If it is not true, then I don't know what is.
Love,
A.W.
P.S. I hope that you will come back, dear brother or sister. It is as easy to believe as it is to disbelieve. Having faith = Choosing to believe.
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