Who needs government economic stimulus programs? Utah's philantrophic car dealers are coming to our rescue! The Tribune and Deseret News carry indentical full-page articles about a couple local Nissan car dealers have teamed up to "provide a public bailout program":

The program was created in hopes of helping families to stimulate the Utah economy.

The dealers have even set up two emergency "help" locations. But hold on a sec! Is that tiny word "ADVERTISEMENT" printed at the top of the article?

OK, here's the deal, if you buy a car, these dealers will give you the rebates on the car in cash. Of course, you have to go into debt to buy the vehicle. So if you buy a $35,000 gas guzzling SUV, you could — allegedly — get a big check. Or as the ad says:

Yes, that's right, receive up to $13,500 in cash in your hand.

You can then use this in-your-hand cash to ". . .invest or any way to stimulate the local economy." (Perhaps make a down payment on another Nissan!)