Tired of economists who dance around the key questions, like when is the recession going to end? Hell, they can't even tell us when the downturn began.

Salt Lake's Catalyst magazine has the article for you. Astrologer Christopher Renstrom looks to the stars to untangle those tough economic predictions. Here are your answers:

• The economy went into the toilet when Saturn entered Virgo on Sept. 2, 2007. "Saturn is the reality check planet in astrology — famous for bursting people's bubbles." (The ringed planet also brought down the 2000 dot.com market.)

• Beware the Sun in Pisces, Gemini, Virgo and Sagittarius. "It's a good idea to watch your back (financially speaking) during March, June, September and December."

• By November, we'll know the extent of the recession. (Saturn departs Virgo, duh.)

• But don't expect a turnaround for two more years, when Saturn is exhalted in Libra.

• Expect mini-economic spikes the last week of May, June 17th and after September 15.

Maybe a state Legislature that denies the science behind global warming and other liberal hokum, will be more accepting of astrology.

I can't find a link online for the sidebar story on the economy, so you might have to pick up a paper version of Catalyst to read the details.