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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Election? What election?

From the Capitol . . .

In what they claimed was NOT a campaign stunt, goshdarnnit!, several legislators gathered in the Capitol rotunda to announce they would sponsor a package of anti-abortion bills to commemorate the 35th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

The lawmakers say they have lined up a Washington-based anti-abortion organization "known worldwide," that will provide lawyers to defend Utah when the laws are challenged in court. Defending the laws could run into the millions.

But Rep. Carl Wimmer, R-Herriman would not name the organization and admitted the abortion-fighting lawmakers have yet to talk to the state's Attorney General or the Senate about the offer.

When a cynical journalist* challenged the group's motivations for calling the press conference, Rep. Steve Sandstrom, R-Orem, retorted:

This has nothing to do with re-election. . . . It is the wishes of the people of Utah.
It is reprehensible that anyone would even suggest that protecting unborn life is a political gimmick.

Rep. Ken Sumsion, R-American Fork, offered an Old Testament warning:

This nation has prospered and been blessed by a higher power , . . . That prosperity may hinge on the value we place upon life. It's time to take Roe v. Wade to the Supreme Court and get it changed.

Rep. Chris Johnson, D-Salt Lake, attended the press conference to demonstrate opposition to the bills:

This is obviously a campaign stunt. These are all men from very conservative districts. Why do the taxpayers have to pay for their pet projects?

*Yep, it was the Tribune's ever-reprehensible Rebecca Walsh.

Get-back time for Guv

Third Congressional District candidate Jason Chaffetz's political resume is anchored on his tenure as Gov. Jon Huntsman's former chief of staff. So it had to hurt when Huntsman made it clear that he doesn't think much of Chaffetz's grandiose scheme to herd illegal immigrants into tent camps behind razor wire.

Huntsman calls Chaffetz's brainstorm an "extreme idea." He also disputes Chaffetz's claim that the concept originally came from the Western Governors Association. Huntsman, who is president of the WGA, was co-chairman of the committee that wrote the group's immigration policy. Huntsman says it never included Chaffetzesque solution:

Nobody talked about a tent city with barbed wire fences around it.

The immigration problem, says Huntsman, causes politicians to lose sight that it's "a human issue first and foremost."

We all knew Chaffetz wrote off Huntsman's support at the state GOP convention when Chaffetz played to the far-right crowd by mocking Huntsman's efforts to reduce greenhouse gases:

Jon Huntsman, as much as I like you, you're wrong on global warming. It's a farce.

It doesn't take Karl Rove to tell you that back-stabbing one-liner was going to come back to haunt Jason the opportunist.

Huntsman, Springmeyer agree to agree

I don't know whether it's the blue-dog influence on Democrat Bob Springmeyer or Gov. Jon Huntsman's scandalously moderate philosophy, but a so-called debate between them shed little heat as the opponents agreed on just about everything. At times Huntsman sounded like he was channeling former Mayor Rocky Anderson.

Points of consensus during the KUED/KUER debate included:

Expanding health care.
Limits on campaign spending.
Education for immigrant children.
A bipartisan commission to prevent gerrymandered legislative and congressional boundaries.
Blocking nuclear waste disposal.
They even agree that a government bailout of Wall Street is necessary.

Springmeyer challenged Hunstman on his support last year of a school voucher program that ultimately was dumped in a referendum. Only to have Huntsman promise he won't do that again.

Probably the most striking aspect of the debate was how far the Guv strays from Utah's conservative GOP party line. John McCain seemingly could take lessons in being a maverick from his longtime supporter Huntsman.

For a different slant on the debate go to the Democratic Party website, which reports that Springmeyer nailed Huntsman on his inhumanity in implementing a 10-hour/four-day work week for state workers. And as for Jon being a maverick, Dem Party apparatchik Bill Keshlear writes:

Huntsman seemed proud of the fact that he had taken positions on policies that have made him a minor celebrity in the world of moderate Republican politics outside of Utah.

He didn’t talk about why he has problems getting those policies past the legislative power brokers of his own party and actually enacted into law.

Remember us, Mitt?

Mitt Romney will be campaigning for John McCain in Reno and Albuquerque. But he doesn't plan a side trip to Utah, which he used like an ATM to extract $5.5 million during his doomed presidential run.

It's probably for the best, considering a Texas minister told a national gathering of religion writers that Romney belongs to a "cult."

The Rev. Robert Jeffress, who is hot stuff in Dallas, explained:

I believe we should always support a Christian over a non-Christian. The value of electing a Christian goes beyond public policies. . . . Christians are uniquely favored by God, [while] Mormons, Hindus and Muslims worship a false god. The eternal consequences outweigh political ones. It is worse to legitimize a faith that would lead people to a separation from God.”

Look on the bright side, Thomas S., Jeffress puts the LDS church in the company of some serious players. In addition to Hindus and Muslims, the Texas God boy thinks just about every relgion, except his version of Southern Baptist, is a cult — including Catholics and Buddhists.

Religion Newswriters Association president Kevin Eckstrom said Jeffress' cult commentary didn't find a lot of support among journalists, but represents a common view within evangelical groups (or are they cults?) :

A lot of people were uncomfortable with what Dr. Jeffress said about Mormons, but what we were hoping for was something provocative that would get people talking, and certainly this did it.

Button up...

A couple years ago, state Rep. John Dougall of Utah County complained to me that the Provo Daily Herald's was run by a bunch of "leftists."

Either things have changed drastically in the newspaper's editorial offices or Dougall is dancing way, way further out on his party's right wing than I imagined.

Take today's house editorial* that slams Utah's participation in the Western Climate Initiative to cut carbon emissions. As six other Western States and four Canadian provinces — not to mention the rest of the world — comes to grips with global warming, the Daily Herald says the real problem is the coming ice age:

The news indicates that, if anything, our planet is growing not hotter but colder. Recently, NASA's Ulysses project reported that the intensity of the sun's solar wind -- a flow of charged particles -- is at its lowest point of the Space Age. This adds to the mounting evidence that the Sun's activity is decreasing, and could signal the start of an era of cold weather, as in the Little Ice Age from the mid-16th century to the middle of the 19th century.

We assume the climate scientists at the DH also measured the thickness of fuzz on Utah County caterpillars.

But the real problem the Daily Herald has with the climate initiative, of course, isn't mammoths on Main Street, but that any restraint on industry could put Utah's cooling economy into a "deep freeze." For an idea of how the initiative would work, go here.

*Don't you hate that newspaper editorial writers (including those at the Tribune) don't put their names on so-called "house" editorials? The hell with pompous newspaper traditions, writers should take direct responsibility for the prattle they pump out.

'The Year' or Greek tragedy?

The Tribune's Ross Siler says the Jazz should adopt "Continuity Counts" as their motto this season. Thirteen players (The Jazz's lucky number?) along with Jerry Sloan are returning from last season's Northwest Division-winning team.

The downside? Seven players could become free agents after this season. Greed and personal ambition vs. team loyalty — throw in the usual hubris, and it should be an interesting year. As Deron Williams sees the free-agency threat:

It could be a blessing, it could be a curse. You've just got to hope that everybody is on board and prepared to play their role and do what's right for the team.

But at the same time, some guys could be out for getting theirs. You've just got to hope everything goes right.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Black and white and red all over

The Cache County Jail has banned newspapers, including the local Herald Journal, from its inmates, fearing that reading crime articles could lead to security problems. Sheriff's Capt. Kim Cheshire explains:

We stopped taking The Herald Journal because it poses a safety problem for our inmates and staff here. If the paper prints an article about a child sex abuse criminal, other inmates will know what that inmate is in here for.

To gloss over the ugly details, if other inmates read that a cellmate is convicted of something heinous, say child molestation, it might be disrupt their friendship and lead to social friction.

So, to keep things peaceful in the ol' gray bar hotel, the Herald Journal, The Salt Lake Tribune and other scandal sheets are kept out of inmates hands.

Interestingly, the inmates still have full access to the Deseret News — presumably because it has a tranquilizing, some would say soporific, effect on readers.

The DNews alone joins Time, Better Homes and Gardens and 11 of the 12 monthly editions of Sports Illustrated (is that banned 12th issue the swim-suit edition?) in the jail library.

Inmates, by the way, are looking forward to next Wednesday's DNews when Cookie Editor Valerie Phillips will reprise her recipe for German chocolate hacksaw cake.

Curtis can't buy love

In a neck-and-neck race, such as that for House Speaker Greg Curtis' seat, the Internet can make a difference. Curtis tells the Deseret News:

I know the Democratic Party has put a target on me, and I'm not shying away from that challenge.

With a statistically even split in the vote, according to a DNews/KSL poll, it's got to be more than just Democrats who have a problem with Curtis. The race shouldn't be that close, considering Curtis is a powerful incumbent who has raised $54,ooo, mostly from PACs and businesses, to bring his bulging war chest to $370,000.

Democratic challenger Jay Seegmiller has raised not quite $30,000.

Curtis' problem is evident in a website set up exclusively to slag him. Instead of the usual ranting against the incumbent, the site lists a series of newspaper stories chronicling recent controversies that have besplattered the House speaker. From land deals to alleged bribery, the common thread seems to be questionable ethics.

Seegmiller, no fool, has made ethics central to his campaign and is calling for more controls on lobbyist gifts, campaign money and conflicts of interest (the speaker is a land-use lawyer who stands to keep much of his campaign fund for personal use under current rules):

Utah's ethics laws are so lax. I talk to people in other states; I look at federal rules. It is crazy what goes on here.

Socialism, Utah style

The Legislature decided to continue funding its state theater, despite making massive budget cuts in other vital areas.

Back in 2007, the Hale Centre Theatre in West Valley City was given an annual state subsidy — along with an $85,000 one-time grant — despite questions about its budget, which pays six-figure salaries to Hale family members and very little to most of its actors. According to a Trib story*:

Even some legislators behind the unusual appropriation say they were unaware of one of the theater's key financial aspects: its top executives' big salaries. Together, the top five managers were paid $530,000 annually, according to the most recent public tax records.

Additionally, two top Hale officials own a leasing company the theater paid $500,000 in the past four years through an exclusive contract.

An appropriations subcommittee initially diverted the entire $60,000 appropriation to the Hale Theatre to the emergency food network. But the full Senate restored the money to the Hale.

Finally, the House split the appropriation and sent half to Hale and $30,000 to the emergency food network.

You may wonder why certain lawmakers would fight so hard to fund a community theater, while other a

rts groups are struggling and money for basic services is tight. Hale Theatre sells itself as offering wholesome family entertainment to offset the morally questionable fare of Salt Lake companies. Oh, by the way, the Hale's board includes Sen. Pat Jones, D-Holladay, and Attorney General Mark Shurtleff.

True to form, Jones and Sen. Brent Goodfellow, D-West Valley City, argued against cutting any of the Hale's funding. Perhaps the Hale Theatre can offer The Little Matchstick Girl this holiday season, featuring an entirely homeless cast.

*Full disclosure: Ellen Fagg and I wrote that story.

Let Tina be Sarah

Utah's favorite son-who-doesn't-live-here Mitt Romney, who is not John McCain's running mate, says the GOP candidate is making a mistake keeping Sarah Palin locked up in the campaign's attic:

Holding Sarah Palin to just three interviews and microscopically focusing on each interview has been a mistake. They'd be a lot wiser to let Sarah Palin be Sarah Palin. Let her talk to the media, let her talk to people.

So far in the campaign, half the public's exposure to Palin has been through Saturday Night Live's Tina Fey spoofing Palin.

In fact, the GOP should hire Fey to debate Joe Biden in Palin's place — Fey's a lot smarter than Palin or Biden.

It's not just gentiles

Brigham Young University's 100 Hour Board, manned around the clock by student volunteers, answers questions about Mormonism and its peculiar culture. A recent question brought to light a surprising and little-known phenomenon: LDS members who live outside Utah make fun of what they call "Utah Mormons," too!

An LDS member who has "never eaten jello salad with carrots or ratted my hair a foot above my head" asks for a description of Utah Mormons.

Hobbes of 100 Hour Board offers a list of characteristics including:

Lack of experience with an imaginary place called The Real World, usually defined as anywhere outside of Utah.
Dogmatic adherence to non-doctrines or semi-doctrines like caffeine or playing video games on Sunday.
Naivete.
Bad driving skills.
A unique lexicon "Oh, flip/fetch!" "Oh my heck!" etc.
Xenophobia.
Blind Republican loyalty.
Weird names for children.

Hobbes offers some advice:

For some reason, there's a fair amount of intense bigotry against Utah from many members of the Church, and there's irritatingly little you can do about it. Have a nice life, and leave the narrow-minded to their own devices.

What went wrong?

Don't tell Chris Buttars, the Eagle Forum or Comedy Central — but Utah is no longer the most whacked-out, conservative state in the galaxy.

According to a Mason Dixon poll of likely voters, our corner-chewing, fire crackers-and-malt liquor-peddling neighbor Wyoming has taken over the top position.

The handful of humans with phones in the in the Wild Wonderful state believe the following:

81 percent say gun-control laws are too restrictive. (What! There's gun control in Wyoming?)

77 percent want to stop illegal immigration with a border fence (all the way around Wyoming).

47 percent support deporting illegal immigrants (presumably to Utah where do-anything-to-be-a-Congressman Jason Chaffetz will put them in tent camps).

74 percent support drilling for oil and gas on public lands.

51 percent say that drilling is more important than protecting the environment.

On the last point, Utahns proved more hardcore than Wyomites, with 61 percent of Beehivers saying, trash, trash, trash the enviro — but drill, drill, drill.

McCain, of course has an enormous lead over Obama in Wyoming, only because Generalissimo Francisco Franco is too dead to be a write-in candidate.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Orrin, you ol' dog!

Sen. Orrin Hatch sure knows how to throw a gal confab! He has invited '80s pop teen icon Debbie Gibson to speak at his annual Utah Women's Conference.

Pop music coaster Gibson posed nude in Playboy in 2005. She also regularly headlines gay pride parades. Orrin says he knew nothing about those activities, he simply hired her to jump out of a cake and discuss her struggles with anxiety disorder.

Hmmm. How did the Deseret News' Lee Davidson so quickly make the link between Gibson the motivational speaker and Gibson the nude (Orrin would say porn) icon? Just good investigative journalism, I suppose.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Seigfried & Jensen & Shurtleff

Salt Lake City Weekly questions Attorney General Mark Shurtleff's decision to hire Seigfried & Jensen to pursue the makers of the controversial drugs Zyprexa and Vioxx in a class-action suit to recover millions paid out by Utah Medicaid. Patients say drug companies hid serious side effects of the drugs from users.

The City Weekly's Eric Peterson writes:

With experienced law firms to choose from in Utah and across the nation, ultimately Shurtleff didn’t need to look any farther than the back of the phone book. Shortly before Siegfried & Jensen’s Steele secured the contract, the firm hired Ambra Gardner, Shurtleff’s daughter, to work as a paralegal. She came to the job with no previous experience, sources say.

CW points out that Sigfried & Jensen, who will get a generous cut of the money recovered, has been especially kind to Shurtleff in campaign contributions:

Campaign finance disclosure forms show the firm donated $30,000 since 2006, when the state contracts were granted. Another $5,000 came to Shurtleff in the months just before the contracts were formally signed—approximately the same time period his daughter was hired.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

No Crawler for you

On the back roads of Utah . . .

I'm getting some R & R, exploring the wonders of Utah's rural and small-town life, which too often reminds me the Legislature will be in special session this week.

Back Monday morning.

Genius among us

The University of Utah's Susan Mango has won $500,000 MacArthur "genius" grant. Mango works at the Huntsman Cancer Institute studying tiny worms to somehow, someday cure cancer.

What you probably don't know is that Mango is a doting mother and a doting daughter, a hiker, a huge fan of My Neighbor Totoro along with wine and good food — basically your all-around harried professional Utah woman.

Her boyfriend, a scientist at Havard in an equally arcane field, recently accused Susan of being a "nerd" not because she spends her days and nights studying tiny round worms, but because he discovered she has a fascination with whether Shakespeare actually wrote all those plays. Last I heard, she says, no way.

Full disclosure: Mango is a friend of mine — which casts serious doubt on her "genius" rating.

A better idea

Raul Lopez-Vargas offers an alternative solution to America's immigration woes that seems better in the long term than rounding up illegals and locking them up in internment camps.

Lopez-Vargas, a Mexico City native, antropologist and legal immigrant, is training Latinos in entrepreneurial skills and democracy. The general idea being that if they can make Mexico a better place to live, they won't have to come here.

Lopez-Vargas tells the Tribune's Kathy McKitrick:

We look here for what we don't find there - democracy and the opportunity to participate in civic life.

Lopez-Vargas helped in organizing "hometown clubs," community organizations for Mexicans living in Utah. He teaches entrepreneurship at South Salt Lake's Centro de la Familia.

We have to start thinking about solving undocumented immigration by helping with economic development in Mexico. Then, if our people have to go back, they can work there.

Maybe Third District candidate Jason Chaffetz, a former multi-level marketer and would-be "tent camp" commander, could be a guest speaker in the business class.

Better yet, maybe Lopez-Vargas should gain citizenship and run* for Congress — he has more innovative ideas than putting economically desperate people behind razor wire.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Mitt's loving it

It takes a kiwi to say what many Republicans, especially in Utah, are thinking: The U. S. economy is tanking and John "the fundamentals of our economy are strong" McCain's picks a hockey mom to advise him?

Nicola Lamb in the New Zealand Herald says the unutterable:

Last week as McCain flailed about on the economy, a running mate who was a businessman, Olympics entrepreneur, former governor of a state of 6.4 million and Washington 'outsider' might have made more political sense than a 'hockey mom' governor from Alaska.

McCain, who has admitted that economics is not his strong suit, spurned his chance to pick a number two who could have talked credibly about measures to aid the ailing economy.

That potential number two she alludes to is, of course, Mitt Romney.

Crunch time

Considering his call for a special session Thursday to tackle Utah's increasing economic woes, Gov. Jon Huntsman may have picked a bad week to launch a new environmental initiative.

The seven-state Western Climate Initiative wants to reduce greenhouse-gas emissions by 15 percent by 2020. Part of the strategy is to reduce dependence on fossil fuels and generate "green" industries. Utah, of course, has lots of coal to mine and sell.

House Speaker Greg Curtis puts it plainly:

We want to protect the environment. We want to protect the air quality and do all those things . . . but we want to make sure that the coal industry and some of these that are important economic drivers for our state [are not harmed.]

It's going to get ugly

Fiscal analysts and their tables and splatter charts always make the state budget look complicated and darkly magical. But under it all, it's a lot like your budget — if a few dozen monkeys helped you figure it out. (Make that 104 monkeys, if you count the Senate.)

The legislature has overspent $272 million and, just like you, they have hard decisions to make in Thursday's special session:

Spend about 10 percent less. Ow, ow, owie!
Crack open the old nest egg, which the Lege calls the Rainy Day Fund — and hope it's not a long storm.
Borrow money.
A messy combination of the above.
Debtors' prison. (Ha. Ha. Don't you right-wing nutjobs wish.)

Of course, you've got to have priorities. Most citizens want to protect public education from cuts, which means even bigger cuts from the rest of the budget.

Then again, since when has the Lege care about what citizens say when it comes to education? Sen. Lyle Hillyard, jefe de jefes of of the Legislature's budget committee and all-around Scrooge McDuck, says he's open to whacks at least at education "administration."

I don't think any of us want to do a 5 percent or 10 percent cut. We want to find other ways to do that.

Uh-oh, say school districts across the state.

Robert Gehrke tries to make some sense of it here.

Speaking of priorities, Roger Ball of the Utah Ratepayers Association wades in here to protect utility regulators.

Small town vs. big dog

Toquerville, along I-15 in southern Utah, is in a legal squabble over billboards.

The town is trying to ban billboards within city limits — I guess residents like seeing the mountains and sage and not looking like every other pit stop in America. As Toquerville Mayor Ken Powell puts it:

We're trying to correct things.

But a landowner wants to assert his God-given right to put humongus Mountain Dew ads (as an example) on his property and he's got Utah's 900-pound guerrilla* of blot-on-the-landscape advertising, Reagan Outdoor Advertising, standing behind him.

If you don't know anything else about Utah politics, know this:

Reagan Outdoor owns the Legislature.
The Lege hates big government.
Except when a little government — like Toquerville — tries to step on its benefactors.
Then, the Lege delights in stepping on "government closest to the people."

In short, Toquerville, total budget $500,000, is screwed.

For more on stopping butt-ugly billboards go here.

*Either spelling or meaning of gorilla/guerrilla correct in this case.

The slide begins

Utah, bastion of "traditional" family values, is getting less traditional all the time, according to a census report. More and more Utahns are putting off marriage, doing without vows to live together, or living with same sex partners.

According to the Tribune the new numbers show:

42 percent increase in households headed by unmarried partners.
23 percent jump in lesbian partners.
22 percent increase in gay men cohabitating.

Still, Utah remains the refuge of the Leave it to Beaver family. UofU demographer Pam Perlich explains:

All of those social characteristics of Mormon culture remain. You see Utah becoming more diverse, but still maintaining its old Utah hallmarks.

Here's a solution to the curse of couples living in sin: Reduce the shacking up numbers by letting gays and lesbians marry!

ESPN vs. Mormons

Students at Louisana State University are thrilled with LSU’s 26-21 victory over rival Auburn. But they are seething about an ESPN sideline reporter's off-the-cuff statement about quarterback Andrew Hatch. Hatch had been slammed during the game and later diagnosed with a concussion.

ESPN's Holly Rowe offered this update on Hatch’s condition:

Well, guys, I know he’s not drunk because Hatch is a Mormon and doesn’t drink. But you would think he’s tipsy the way he’s been wobbling around.

The editorial page of the LSU Reveille responds:

Even the most charitable interpretation her comment is bizzare.

It’s true Hatch is a Mormon, and Mormons don’t drink alcohol. The problem, though, is not with the comment’s factual validity.

Hatch — in what was certainly a disappointing night for him, his friends and his family — was sidelined with a concussion and appeared in both physical and mental stress. . . .

Why Rowe found it necessary to invoke both Hatch’s religious beliefs and values to describe his physical status is baffling.

Earlier this year, ESPN reporter Ric Bucher felt it necessary to evoke Mormonism to denigrate Utah Jazz fans. I wonder if Rowe knows the religion of one other LSU player?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Zion to xenophobia

From Zion National Park...

Springdale is another small town that makes its living off tourists. And from all appearances, it's doing a hell of a business. The town is chock-a-block with resorts, motels, galleries and restaurants and they are all overflowing (instead of "No Vacancy" the lodges just say, "Sorry.")

Easily half of the visitors are German, English and — Sinawava* helps us — the French, who absolutely adore the American Southwest and Utah. Best of all, they are buying first-class meals at Springdale's best restaurants, including Spotted Dog and Whiptail, which rival anything in Park City, Moab or Salt Lake City.

What is going to happen to Southern Utah's economy when Jason Chaffettz starts rounding up foreigners for his tent camps? Ha. Ha. I'm joking of course. Still, the mean-spirited anti-immigrant plan has got to make Utah seem like a menacing place to folks who are different.

*Sinawava, the Piute god of creation.

It's about change

Sound familiar? A group of GOP Senators on the Hill are challenging the existing leadership, arguing, simply, it's time for change. Sound familiar?

After the antics of the last Legislature, including the Chris Buttars' sideshow that drew charges of racism, cronyism and the unethical behavior like a black hole sucks light — Senate President John Valentine and his plug ugly, Majority Leader Curt Bramble, have some explaining to do to their own party.

The man-who-would-be Senate president, Sen. Mike Waddoups, R-Taylorsville, told the Deseret News:

You would see less of the nastiness going on like you saw with (Sen. Chris) Buttars. . . . that could have been handled a lot better.

Kirby watch your back!

The Deseret News Mormon Times is offering a humor column, "Laugh it up with the Aylworth asylum." Roger H. Aylworth (what is it with Mormons and initials?) will be writing from northern California where he is a columnist with an unnamed newspaper.

His philosophy of humor?

. . . it had to be humor that didn't have to make one person cry in order to make another laugh. . . .

What I wanted was humor without a victim, humor that involved situations other people would recognize, so they could laugh with and not at somebody.

Sorry H., humor without pain isn't very funny. As somebody (who was funny) once put it: Comedy is tragedy, plus time. Ergo, The Producers, Life of Brian and a lot of banana peels.

Aylworth goes on to prove my point with a rollicking riff on his family's showering schedule. He's got seven kids — get it?

By the way, isn't "Aylworth asylum" making fun of the mentally ill?

Friday, September 19, 2008

In search of small-town Utah

IN SPRING CITY, Sanpete County...
Sarah Palin says the heart of America is its small towns. So I wandered down to Sanpete County to find out what she's talking about. I hunkered down in Spring City where the closest thing to a traffic jam happens when they run sheep down main street.

The nation may be in an economic downturn with Wall Street quaking in its Florsheims, but Spring City is bullish on business. The Pyramid reports that Fred and Audrey's convenience store has been purchased by Arshad Gill, who hails from India by way of Cambodia, and his son Naeem (just call him "John"). Their motto: "Serve a small town standard items at the best prices!"

Luann and Carol, who own the Spring City's only restaurant, Spring City Kitchen, tell me they are selling because business is too good. They want more time to relax and hang with family. If you ever wanted to own a diner, they'll be glad to work alternate weeks as your short-order cooks and waitresses.

Wasatch Academy in Mt. Pleasant held a Friendship Circle to so every individual at the school could meet and shake hands. The outcome, the Pyramid says, was "positive and welcoming."

Artists have been haunting the roadsides of Sanpete County for the last few days. They're competing in the Spring City plein air painting competition. The artists produce landsc

apes in the open air, vying for a $3,000 prize. Judging is tomorrow, so I'm sticking around — if I can stand the suspense.

Demont, Heath, Terry and Fay died this week, but were offset by the births of Yuzleni, Ginny Lorraine and Hayley Lyn.

But not everything is in spiritual balance in Sanpete County, some fiend poached a mountain goat in the Tushar Mountains. The BLM is offering a $2,500 reward for whoever started the 560-acre Lonesome Pine fire. And Delbert Lee Phillips was busted for assault and disorderly conduct. (What is it with guys with the name Lee?)

John Hales apologized in the newspaper to everyone in the county for embarrassing them by being arrested for illegal drug possession.

Unfortunately, any harmony in Sanpete County soon will be shattered. A flier warns that Tribune political cartoonist Pat Bagley will speak at Snow College. According to the Pyramid:

His more liberal political perspective receives significant press in the conservative state of Utah.

Utah to world: 'We're bigots!'

Sheesh! What is it with people? Congressional candidate Jason Chaffetz pushes one measly proposal to round up undesirables and concentrate them in tent camps and you'd think he'd forgotten America's shame at putting thousands of Japanese into internment camps during World War II.

This time around, the undesirables in Chaffetz's razor-wire, guard-tower festooned stalag would be suspected illegal aliens. You know, Criminals. But that hasn't stopped civil libertarians, including California congressman Mike Honda, from denouncing him. The latest cry of outrage comes from the Japanese American Citizens League:

Mr. Chaffetz has fumbled the ball on the important issue of immigration and turned it into an engine of fear towards immigrants.

Chaffetz feels like everyone is out to get him:

They haven't even tried to talk to me. I'd be happy to sit down and explain my position on immigration. My immediate reaction is that press release is based on bogus lies intended to inflame media coverage.

Of course, Chaffetz's idiotic idea will make no difference in his winning the mini-minded Third District. Folks in Utah like to perpetuate the idea that their state is full of hateful bigots.

'O.C.' to RM

Television's The O.C. heartthrob Adam Brody plays the part of a Mormon in a new film, Death in Love.

The film written and directed by Boaz Yakin of Remember the Titans fame is that tired, old story of a Jewish woman who has a love affair with a sadistic Nazi doctor in concentration camp. (WTF!) It then follows the impact of the affair on her two sons.

Brody plays a Mormon friend of one of the sons played by Josh Lucas. For some reason, Brody and the film's publicists find a Jewish actor playing a Mormon part fascinating:

It’s not like I was raised Orthodox in any way shape or form. But it felt hilarious giving a monolouge about being raised Mormon.

Brody, not surprisingly, says he hopes that FOX will follow the lead of CW Network (90210) and revive his teen soap opera, “the sooner the better!”

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Man with the 'means'

Since the LDS church called on its members to support with "means and time" an amendment to California's constitution that would restrict marriage to a union of a man and a woman, Utah residents have kicked in $120,500.

Word Perfect co-founder and openly gay Utahn Bruce Bastian (who also must be a masochist since he lives in Orem) blew their doors off wih a $1 million donation to the fight to stop Prop 8. Talk about putting your money where your mouth is.

The LDS Church has no business stepping their big nose in something that's a legal matter, not a religious matter. Constitutions are meant to protect minorities - not to take rights away from people.

Drill, drill, drill

The Tribune's Patty Henetz reports that lawmakers don't think much of priceless rock art when it comes between them and natural gas.

Three conservation organizations are suing the BLM (that federal agency everyone, right and left, can agree to hate) demanding it protect air, water and ancient art when handing out energy exploration and production leases. More than 10,000 Indian rock-art images are endangered by dust kicked up by energy company trucks in Nine Mile Canyon alone.

As Orem Sen. Margie Dayton puts it:

I just don't think dust is important when we're talking about foreign nations strangling us.

I wonder if Margie would feel differently if it were a Mormon temple or Utah County family history scrapbooks at risk?

Besides, the Nine Mile Canyon petroglyph at right even looks like Margie. Seriously.

Ugly days are here again!

Remember the days of yore when the Utah Legislature had a $1 billion surplus to play with — or at least thought it did? Way back in '06 and '07, battles raged over whether to give humongous tax cuts or fund education adequately.

The lawmakers' answer, of course, was to give tax cuts (so good for re-election) and toss a few bones to teachers, while maintaining the state's position at the bottom of school funding nationally.

A few pages of the calendar later (don't you love free markets?), and Gov. Jon Huntsman is ordering the Legislature into a special session to spin in circles over a $200 million crater in the budget. Speaking of nostalgia: Remember a couple months a go when industrious, well-managed Utah was hermetically sealed from the national economic downturn?

To be fair, some lawmakers, including Senate President John Valentine and House members like John Dougall and Steve Urquhart warned that, duh, what goes up — inevitably comes down with a thump. (But they also thought passing private school vouchers was a good idea.)

Under the same theory, in no time at all, the Lege'll be throwing the dough around again. Of course if you listen to cranks like Alan "Mr. Negativity" Greenspan, maybe not:

Let's recognize that this is a once-in- a-half-century, probably once-in-a-century type of event. There's no question that this is in the process of outstripping anything I've seen, and it still is not resolved and it still has a way to go.

Photo: "Flat Broke," Dorothea Lange, 1936.

Prescription for trouble

Blogger BenJoe Markland has been tipped off to a questionable election mailer sent out by candidate Ed Allen (aka: Dr. D. Edgar Allen, dermatologist), a former Chair of the Weber County Democratic Party who is running for the House District 10 seat in Ogden.

In the letter, Dr. Allen ostensibly is assuring his patients that they will get good care after he is elected as a busy, busy lawmaker. (I wonder if their medical care will slip if the good Doc is trounced?)

BenJoe (obviously an alias) points out that Allen is using his patient list and the patient list of his son to send out the mailers.

Oops. Unless the Doc got signed releases from all of the recipients — he could be violating HIPAA (the fearsome federal Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act). Ask any hospital administrator: HIPAA's not something you want to mess with. Opines BenJoe:

Talk about unethical use of patient information. Is this against the law? Should the licensing board be contacted?

Dr. Ed is also dancing a thin line on election code. You can check that out for yourself here and cure your insomnia while you're at it.

Read the bill, Bob

DotGovWatch, a website that tracks government idiocy, had some harsh words for Utah's favorite Uncle Bob.

Senator [Bob] Bennett from Utah is single-handedly quashing the most commonsense, bi-partisan bill this year–a requirement that the U.S. government write clear, concise, and intelligible English. And he is doing so based on a misreading of the bill.

The Plain Language in Government Communications Act of 2008 would require government agencies to use clear, concise, and easy to understand language in public documents, including applications for government services and assistance. The bill flew throught the House 376-1.

But Bennett has blocked it from ever going to a vote in the Senate. He is concerned about its impact on Federal Election Commission because the FEC is required to interpret campaign finance law and issue regulations "full of legal terms."

DotGovWatch insinuates that Bob get his trifocals checked — or hire a competent staff:

The bill clearly and specifically excludes federal regulations from the list of "covered documents" that must be written in plain language. If Senator Bennett had read the 1,000-word bill before he opposed it, he should have spotted that exclusion.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Gun grad on the lam

Clark Aposhian, a Utah gun rights lobbyist who moonlights as a firearms instructor, unknowingly trained an alleged assassin who is still on the run.

Jason Derek Brown, a returned LDS missionary and former toy salesman, is suspected of shooting an Phoenix armed-truck driver five times in the head in 2004, then fleeing with $56,000 in cash on a mountain bike.

Brown lived in Sugar House shortly before the robbery and went to Aposhian for training to qualify for a concealed weapon permit*. Aposhian says Brown came across as a "surfer dude" and was a lousy shot. (Apparently good enough to kill someone.)

It is kind of a weird feeling to know the connection I had [to Brown]. And that he did use those skills, probably, that he got from me to allegedly commit such a heinous act. I was teaching lawful self-defense, and he apparently used it for offense.

Considering Brown has been spotted recently in Salt Lake City, you might want to see if Aposhian has a seat in his next self-defense handgun class.

*Information on who legally can carry a concealed weapon is not open to the public, so we can't find out if Brown ever got his Utah permit.

Matheson pushes energy development

Congressman Jim Matheson enhanced his Blue Dog Democrat credentials by slipping an insert into an energy bill that would to reverse the ban on developing oil shale in western states, including Utah.

Though an environmentally sound process to remove the oil from the rock has yet to be developed, Matheson says the shale could be an important energy source:

I don't want to oversell that production is ready — that you're going to see production tomorrow. There are technological advances that are going to have to happen. But I thought it was important for the state and industry to have the opportunity to pursue those resources.

Utah's Republican congressmen, Rob Bishop and Chris Cannon, voted against the bill saying it does not go far enough in opening federal land to development.

Logan visualizes peace

Logan is on its way to earning a questionable reputation as the "San Francisco of Utah."

The city council, right, has voted unanimously to proclaim Sept. 21 a Day of Peace, on which Loganites will "reflect on the blessings of peace and the true cost of war."

Together, let us affirm the supreme desire in all human beings for a peaceful existence without the horrors of war, and envision the possibility of a peaceful future for all.

Utah's City of Cows (home of Rocky Anderson!) joins a worldwide effort to inspire a day of cease-fires in war zones, along with peace rallies around the world. It all sounds socialistic, but what the hell — Right on, Logan!

Parroting Nader

Ralph Nader's new and pathetic on-line campaign video has a connection to a local what-ever-happened-to politician. The Deseret News reports that the Nader video was filmed in former Mayor Rocky Anderson's Salt Lake abode and stars Rocky's parrot and chief career advisor Cardozo.

Ralph asks the bird:

National television has just blacked out the Nader/Gonzalez campaign. I don't know what I have to do.

The third-party consumer advocate/election spoiler muses that he might get some press if he dresses up as a panda and hits on a female panda at the zoo. Ha. Ha.

The best review of Nader's video is at Wonkette:

Nader also asks, sadly, why nobody wants to cover his campaign. The answer is simple: YOU RUINED EVERYTHING IN 2000, NADER. IT IS YOUR FAULT, ALL OF THIS.

Speaking of third party losers. Isn't it time for another announcement of The Salt Lake Tribune blackout of the Libertarian presidential candidate, er, what's his face?

Arizona PR stunt?

A campaign to define marriage in Arizona's state constitution is shaping up into a clash between Mormons and gays.

The Arizona Daily Star reports that gay rights opponents of the amendment to limit marriage to one man and one woman are casting the drive as a PR effort by the LDS church to burnish its image following the negative publicity surrounding so-called Mormon fundamentalist polygamous groups. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which no longer practices polygamy, has strenuously tried to distance itself from the groups, that includes the FLDS, whose compound was raided in Texas.

Backers of the amendment, that include other faiths, are responding with claims of "religious bigotry" and "scare tactics."

The word from on high

The LDS church has finally released a statement regarding Gov. Jon Huntsman's push toward liberalizing Utah's liquor laws by eliminating the onerous club memberships required to get a hit of hard liquor.

Lisa Marcy McGarry of the Utah Hospitality Association says the statement is HUGE:

This is what everyone was waiting for. A large majority of our Legislature is going to listen to the words of advice given by the LDS Church.

At least everyone thinks the statement is positive. The LDS church posting on its official website is reminiscent of the utterings of the Delphic Oracle. For proper interpretation, you need to imagine drifting mist and spooky music as a church PR guy (in suit and tie, of course) chants from a estatic trance state:

. . .possible agreement on "laws and regulations that allow individual freedom of choice. . ."

. . .preserve "Utah's proven positive health and safety record on limiting the tragic consequences of overconsumption of alcohol. . ."

". . .alcoholic beverages are available to the public" and the church "has always called for reasonable regulations . . ."

Woooooo-o-o-o. Huntsman's office, no fools, go only as far as to say they are "encouraged" by the statement.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Utah leads the arms race

It may not have registered with most residents yet, but Utah is leading an expansion in American gun rights.

The state has one of the most expansive concealed weapon laws in the nation that nearly every year is bolstered by the Legislature. In fact, a large portion of Utah's concealed carry permits are issued to out-of-state residents who don't enjoy such firepower freedom at home.

In the last year, so-called "open-carry" has become a popular cause among guns rights advocates. Though you need a permit to carry a hidden gun, Utah has few restrictions on carrying guns for all the world to see. So don't panic if your dining companion joins you with a pistol strapped on his or her hip. (Theoretically, he or she also could have a scoped rifle slung over his or her shoulder.)

The latest grassroots gun push is targeting local government ordinances that ban weapons from airports, parks and public transportation.

The Legislature, you see, has reserved the right to regulate firearms. But many local governments, including Salt Lake County, which bans firearms from its parks, apparently haven't gotten the word. Says Salt Lake County Councilman Joe Hatch:

The issue of restrictions on guns in terms of carrying should be left up to local control. I believe in the Old West thing — there's a sign at the front of the town saying, "Check your guns before you enter."

Joe, a deluded Democrat, apparently thinks that government closest to the people is the best. In a curious ideological disconnect, the conservative GOP-controlled Legislature soon will set him straight.

This old People's House

After pouring $227 million into restoring, refurbishing, rehabilitating and seismically protecting the beloved Capitol — a '50s era pipe in the old (not to mention architecturally hideous) State Office Building blows out.

Who needs earthquakes or hurricanes? A water leak stops the heart of Utah's government and displaces 1,100 employees for a day.

Let's tote it up. Taxpayers built two new office buildings on the Capitol mall and footed the bill for the restoration of the Capitol itself. Then, lawmakers added an expensive parking garage for themselves.

Expect a bill in this session for — I'll guess a couple hundred million — to replace the funky old office building with something swell enough not to embarrass the Capitol.

Note to fiscal conservatives: It might be a good idea to pass on the lowest plumbing bid.

Orrin defends Obama

Corrected post...

Despite the outrage in McCain campaign, Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch agrees with Democrats that Barak Obama was not calling Sarah Palin a pig — with or without lipstick — saying, "I'm sure he didn't mean it that way."

My Bad: In an earlier version of this post, I included a video clip of Mitt Romney denouncing McCain for dishonesty. That clip is from the primary season when Romney was running against McCain. It was not a recent statement related to allegations that the McCain campaign is being dishonest in ads and statements about Obama. If you are a history buff you can watch the clip here.

Monday, September 15, 2008

How about a monument to the villains?

Are we getting sloppy with the use of the word "hero?" I first noticed the trend when commentators described the victims of the 9/11 attacks as "heroes." As far as I know, they just went to work and became the unsuspecting victims of a series of horrific attacks.

The latest head scratcher came last weekend, when a monument was unveiled to the victims of the Crandall Canyon mine disaster. The disaster, which investigators have found was likely the result of corporate greed, negligence and poor safety regulation, deserves to be remembered — though a sound package of mine safety legislation might be a better monument to the miners' memory.

Chiseled into the monument in Huntington Canyon are the words, "The heroes among us."

Of course, the three would-be rescuers who died tunneling to the trapped miners (and the dozens of rescuers who survived the attempt) are heros. They chose to risk their lives by going into a mine that had been rocked by seismic tremors.

The six initial victims, who were no doubt wonderful people, fathers, sons, brothers and friends, deserve their names in stone — but were they "heros?"

Wendy Black, the widow of Dale Black, one of three rescuers killed Aug. 16, said it well when she asked every miner who participated in the rescue effort to stand:

I'd like to honor those who lived. You are all truly heroes. Remember now, you must go on. Live life to the fullest.

When all is said and done, I can live with the concept of heroes remaining fuzzy in Crandall Canyon, but let's leave no ambiguity about the word "villains."

Utah Legislature explained

House Education Committee debates intelligent design.

A new study suggests that folks of European decent might be as much as 5 percent Neanderthal, which throws into question the theory that modern humans from in Africa simply replaced older hominids. For those of you with a little too much Neanderthal DNA, let me dumb it down: The new guys on the block apparently hooked up with the resident low brows.

Researchers in the Department of Molecular and Computational Biology at the University of Southern California analyzed patterns of ancestral linkage in 135 modern individuals:

They looked at people from Utah with ancestors from Northern and Western Europe and Yoruba people from West Africa.

Now we know why Sen. Chris Buttars and the Eagle Forum have bitterly fought the teaching of evolution. As Buttars once ribbed me:

Your ancestors might have been monkeys, but not mine!

Now, I know that was a red herring to divert media attention from the truth of his Neanderthal geneology.

What will be the 'Legacy?'

Legacy Parkway opened to rush-hour traffic today, and Tribune transportation reporter Brandon Loomis says it's a success, so far — no stop-and-go frustrations on Legacy or on the I-15 stretch running parallel.

But how long before it is overwhelmed by the Wastach Front's insatiable need for growth?

Developers are salivating to take advantage of the Legacy's opening of the "last undeveloped frontier" of Salt Lake County. And West Bountiful and Woods Cross are trying to write growth guidelines in the interchange areas that had up to now mercifully been left a patchwork of pastures, raptor hunting grounds and warehouses.
Woods Cross City Planner Tim Stephens sees the Redwood Road area as the new front door to Woods Cross:

It's also sort of the last, large undeveloped frontier.

Woods Cross Mayor Kent Parry says Legacy Highway changes everything:

Without a Legacy Parkway out there, it makes no sense for a retail establishment to put a business out there. It changes the west side of the city from what it would have been and still is: industrial/agricultural.

Chaffetz wrongs Wright

Jason Chaffetz has crafted a winning strategy in the Third Congressional District race by slamming soon-to-be-former Rep. Chris Cannon, illegal immigrants, Democrats and other members of Utah's underclass.

Chaffetz, a former NuSkin huckster, has methodically mined Utahns' darkest fears — calling for illegal aliens to be rounded up and tossed into tent camps until they can be deported. This ludicrous slime is playing very well in the district anchored in Utah County.

But Chaffetz may have pushed his luck too far when he was rude to Utah's A-No.1 beloved talk radio host Doug Wright. Wright, who is celebrating more than 20 unctuous years at KSL, where he has seldom said anything nasty about anyone, came close to walking off his own show after clashing with Chaffetz. The Tribune's Paul Rolly describes the encounter:

Wright accused Chaffetz of insensitivity bordering on barbarism for his desire to deport all undocumented workers, regardless of their personal situations, and stick those who are criminally charged in fenced "tent cities."

Chaffetz gave listeners an image of the on-air tension when he chided Wright, "Don't throw up your hands."

Add Wright to Chaffetz's "People who need to apologize to me" list.

Still the encounter is unlikely to undermine Chaffetz with his Utah County right-wing nuts because Wright, who is the voice of moderate Republicans, has shown the hideous symptoms of being a closet Obama admirer.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

No Crawler Friday

I'm heading out of town for some R and R in the "City by the Bay" that hates to be called Frisco.

Try to carry on until I return Monday.

Idiot's guide to jackasses

Rep. Steve Clark, R-Provo, gasses on his re-election blog that Democrats should put little donkeys emblems on their campaign literature (and, presumbaly, tattoo it on their foreheads) so Utah County folks know instantly that they're part of the anti-family, pro-gay marria

ge, cute puppy-hating party:

It is only fair that candidates be honest and declare their party affliation beyond the ballot designation on election day. The voters need to know which party the candidates represent because party affliation is a good indicator of a person's persuasion.

Apparently, that isn't a guarantee because this is the same Republican Steve Clark who told his daughter* in February:

If Mitt doesn't get the nomination I am supporting Obama.

*Daughter/blogger Stephanie Nielson and her husband Christian are recovering from injuries in a plane crash in August.

Go to time out, Jim

On KCPW's blog, Notes from the News Director (Uncensored!) , Jeff Robinson offers a snippet of of a recording from a recent Salt Lake County Council work session/cage match at which Councilman Jim Bradley warns Councilman Mark Crockett:

Don't talk to me like that or I'll come over and kick your ass!

The near violence, followed by a tasty blasphemy, came during a discussion on a law and order issue — who would serve on a committee creating a unified police district.

If you've ever wondered how bikers and drunken sailors talk, you can listen here:

Firing up the fight against coal

Robert Redford narrates the documentary, Fighting Goliath: Texas Coal Wars, that is being shown by environmental groups in cities in Nevada, which has three coal-fired power plants in the planning stages, and in Utah, which will be downwind.

Fighting Goliath chronicles an unlikely coalition of small town mayors, ranchers, community groups, legislators and business executives who joined to oppose the construction of coal-fired power plants in Eastern and Central Texas.

The Las Vegas Sun posed a half-dozen questions to the actor, director and founder of the Sundance Institute about environmentalism and the future of the West. The institute first discussed global warming in 1989.

Redford says the West is a "trouble zone," environmentally speaking:

We have wildfires, dirty air and water and drought. There’s less snowmelt and the Colorado River doesn’t reach the Gulf anymore. Our future is going to be talking about water shortages and air pollution.

If Palin's the future — Mitt's history

The Boston Globe offers a compelling analysis of Mitt Romney's future in the light of Sarah Palin's ascendancy as the GOP's standard bearer at the side of that war hero dude.

The Globe's Joan Vennochi argues the religious right killed Mitt's presidential and vice presidential hopes. Palin's positive impact in November could mark the resurgence of the fundamentalist Christians in the GOP. It's a must read for Utah Mitt supporters:

If Palin truly represents the GOP’s future, as some political analysts predict, Romney is history.
If McCain wins in November, and Palin grows in the job of vice president, Romney’s presidential campaign is stalled.
If McCain-Palin loses, and there is no Palin implosion to blame for a Republican defeat, McCain’s running mate will get credit for breathing some life into his uninspiring White House run. That would enhance her political prospects and put Romney’s on hold . . .

But what are Mitt supporters to do? Hope and pray that Palin is catastrophic for the beloved GOP — delivering the White House to the Dems — so that the party finally casts out the Mormon-hating evangelicals?

It's enough to make a Utah County Republican's head hurt.

Curtis in a corner

Speaker of the House Greg Curtis tells the Deseret News' Bob Bernick that if he wins re-election in his neck-and-neck Sandy race — he'll never run for the seat again. Promise!

No, he'll just run for Congress or Senate or governor or Warlord of southern Salt Lake County or whatever else is open in 2012. Curtis is a old-school politician whose personal interests and identity are bound up in what passes for public service on the Hill and to not wield power would kill him.

Assuming Bernick is not making up the whole thing, what is Curtis' game? "Re-elect me and I'll go quietly in two years"?

Curtis has more than $350,000 in his campaign fund, more than any lawmaker in history. Yet, Democrat Jay Seegmiller has him by the throat in the race for the House District 49 seat. The reason is simple. The Legislature, led by Curtis, arrogantly tried to shove a educational voucher bill down unwilling taxpayers' throats last year. Voters rose up and decisively junked the program in a referendum. They seemed to have nursed the grudge into a potent election issue.

The Tribune's Robert Gerhke explores the money from both sides of the voucher issue that is being funneled into campaigns this year. Parents for Choice in Education has dumped more than $200,000 into protecting Curtis and other pro-voucher lawmakers. The Utah Education Association has spent $100,000 to stick it to the voucher gang.

It doesn't help Curtis that he also has been dogged with allegations that he used his position as speaker to benefit developer clients of his law firm.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Nice try

You, like me, have probably wondered where the legions of nut-bag constitutionalists in Utah County come from. You know, the squirrely folks who make Rep. Chris Cannon and Vlad the Impaler look like liberal elitists?

Meet DonCarlos Wells of Provo. DonCarlos (who some suspect is Zorro's alter ego) went to court to fight a parking ticket because it violated his First Amendment right to "peaceably to assemble."

It has limited and undermined my ability to go about my daily lawful activities, be they social or business-related, by forcing me to seek the city's permission to do so beforehand.

Hell yeah, DonCarlos!

But Provo City Justice Court Judge and closet socialist Vernon Romney argued:

There's nothing to prevent you from riding the bus, walking — getting dropped off by a friend.

Then The Man, city prosecutor Steve Shriner sneered that parking is not a human right:

You don't have a constitutional right to own a car. You don't have a constitutional right to park that car.

DonCarlos is considering whether to appeal the $10 attack on the rights of man and woman:

At least I didn't bend over like most people do.

Hot fun in the summertime

Vomit-inducing carnival rides, animal excrement and disgusting food on a stick — what more can a Utahn ask for! But Tribune photographer Scott Sommerdorf documented that the charms of the Utah State Fair are lost on some people — no doubt a member of the liberal elite.

Gawk this!

This Salt Lake resident doesn't seem to have a problem getting laid.

It's a bummer week for Salt Lake City, or the Capital City, as boosters like to call it. SLC's evil metro-twin Provo-Orem just got a big pat on the back for being tops in job creation in the nation, according to an index released by an economic think tank.

Then Gawker piles on, reporting on MTV's The Real World's hottest reality show monkey:

His name is Chet and he is Mormon and, though he's engaged to a young lady back home in Salt Lake City (a city name that celebrates a barren nothingness of a lake whose only inhabitants are brine shrimp and brine flies), the producers want him to get laid. Because he's a virgin!

Talk about the media elite! Had the East Coast liberals at Gawker bothered to get off their butts and interview a gull, a grebe or, even a curlew — they would have learned the GSL happens to be home to millions of native species, shorebirds, and waterfowl, including the largest staging population of Wilson's Phalarope in the world! And, yes, those tasty brine shrimp and our celebrated "lake stink."

By the way, an alleged photo of "Elder Chet":

Community organizer vs. missionary

The iSteve blog makes an interesting comparison between Barack Obama's community organizing work and Mitt Romney's efforts as a LDS missionary:

Romney's personal sacrifices of comfort sound larger than Obama's (no media!), while their performance was similar (strong in a relative sense -- they both climbed the hierarchy -- but weak in an absolute sense -- they didn't accomplish much).
The main difference, of course, is that Obama has constantly milked his community organizing days for electoral advantage while Romney didn't get much of anything from his mission outside of from Mormons. If the general public was aware of it, it probably hurt him.

Compared to where John McCain spent 1966-1968, Romney's monastic existence doesn't cut much ice.

And neither life-changing committment seems to qualify as "experience" to GOP delegates when compared to Sarah Palin's PTA days.

Setback in Sevier County

Opposition to a coal fired power plant in Sevier County suffered a setback when a state judge ruled to toss a citizen group's referendum off the November ballot.

In making his decision, District Judge Wallace Lee used a new state law barring the citizens' initiative process from such land-use cases. County residents had fought for months to put Sevier Power Co.'s construction of the proposed coal-fired power plant to a public vote.

The referendum signatures arrived two days before the new law took effect, but the county commission took no action for several days.

The law, however, still faces a constitutional challenge because it limits local initiative and referendum powers. The power plant also faces a legal assault by the Sierra Club on air quality standards.

Tacos to internment

Congressional candidate and social engineer Jason Chaffetz is demanding apologies— from California Congressman Mike Honda, from his opponent Democrat Bennion Spencer and from anyone else he claims is demonizing his innovative plan to round up illegal immigrants and put them behind barbed wire in "tent camps."

Honda says Chaffetz's plan is reminiscent of World War II internment camps, like the one he spent time in as a Japanese-American child:

The only apology that should be made is by Mr. Chaffetz to the American public for injecting extremism into a sensitive and serious debate on immigration.

Spencer, who criticized Chaffetz for claiming "to be a believer of God and put someone in a tent city because of their ethnic persuasion," says his opponent "shouldn't hold his breath" waiting for his apology.

Columnist Lee Benson of the Deseret News defends Chaffetz and his camps:

To compare the World War II internment camps to today's immigrant issue is like comparing night to day, yin to yang, black to white, Obama to McCain.
They're exactly the same, other than the fact that they are entirely different.
The Japanese-American internees weren't found guilty of anything and were put behind bars. Illegal immigrants, by the very definition of the term, are guilty but are often not put behind bars.

In the end, it's a minor story in the Tribune by María Villaseñor that reveals the motivation behind the idea — along with the demographic to whom Chaffetz is pandering.

During a discussion of a subject as mundane as regulating food stands, ethnic connections were made and racism oozed forth:

Councilman Mike Winder defended the ordinance, but criticized several speakers who opposed the taco carts operated by "those people" as well as a man who defended the operators by saying at least they have jobs and don't panhandle like "white" people do.

"This isn't a racial issue," Winder emphasized, "this is about health, quality and blight."

"Are we opposed to [taco stands] or are we opposed to a particular group of people who are foreign to us?" asked Joseph Garcia. . . .

Whether taco stands follow health codes concerned Bud Shosted, who worried that immigrants weren't used to American standards.

He wanted to see carts gone, as did JoAnn Sloan, who said the stands don't add culture to West Valley City, "and if they're so worried about keeping their culture, why don't they go back to home."

Chaffetz's answer to ethnic and economic friction isn't a new one. It's been pitched many times before by ambitious politicians to fearful followers looking for easy answers and scapegoats.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Jesus frat dumps Mormon

A Mormon student at the University of New Mexico was black-balled from a fraternity — not because he doesn't chug beer, swear like a sailor, smoke and swallow goldfish — but because the LDS faith's got too many sacred texts.

Mark Nelson, president of the UNM chapter of Kappa Upsilon Chi — a national so-called Christian fraternity — explained to the Daily Lobo:

The basic requirement for members is that they have faith in Jesus Christ as their savior and they follow Biblical theology. We follow the Bible alone as scripture. The [LDS church] follows the Bible as well as the Book of Mormon.

Freshman John Bundy, who had hoped to adopt the nickname "Flounder," believes he is a Christian and would have had fun hanging with the KUX* guys (sorry, frat guys, I don't have a Greek fo

nt):

They did all the things fraternities do, but they're centered around Christ. I was really interested in the student organization because they did retreats and services in the community.

KUX maintains it is not violating discrimination rules because it has the right to associate under the First Amendment — so Mormons need not apply.

At least KUX let Bundy down easy:

They said we could still be friends.

Sheesh, John. Delta Tau Chi will take you, they need the dues.

*Kappa Upsilon Chi for "Keeping Under Christ" actually prefers to be called "KYX," but that pronounces even worse than KUX.

No news is really bad news

If you haven't noticed, we are just beginning to emerge from the summer doldrums of news. It's been especially tough on television news teams who need daily doses of fresh meat in the form of high-speed chases, wildfires and American Idol updates to keep their viewers from switching to Ice Road Truckers or, god help us, Masterpiece Theater.

So, I don't blame you if you think I'm making it up when I tell you that the top news story on KUTV 2News last night was:

Woman Suspected Of Attacking Man Who Put Dog Doo On Her Porch

But I am not making this up and I've included a riveting screen shot (above) from the story. The report was also noteworthy in that it was the debut of a made-over Lara Jones, formerly news director at KCPW — now a information disseminatrix for the Salt Lake cops. Jones gave the dog-sh** story a positive spin for Chief Burbank.

I'm not picking on KUTV — the local news recently has been moribund on all the channels and newspapers (OK, OK. And Crawler).

KUTV followed with a story about a Highway Patrol low- to moderate-speed chase that ended when the troopers jerked the apparently blotto driver out of his truck. Unfortunately, the driver was interrupted before he could put the transmission in PARK and it rolled over a trooper's foot. The injury allowed 2News to bill the story as:

UHP Trooper Injured At End Of High Speed Pursuit

I wonder if PBS Nature is on tonight?

Stick to debate

Let it be a lesson to rookie Salt Lake City councilman Luke Garrott, right. When it comes to vigilantism, we can't all be Ogden mayor— and defending flyweight champeen — Matthew "Floats like a gnat, stings like flea" Godfrey.

Less than a year ago, all 5-foot-4, 110 pounds of Godfrey, left, grappled with a bicycle thief twice his size. Matthew "The Mauler" put the bandit in a hammerlock a

nd held him for the cops. Don't let Godfrey's boyish looks fool you — opponents describe him as "Opie Taylor on 'ludes."

Billed as "Loquacious Luke," Garrott, a UofU political science prof, didn't fare so well in his debut utlimate fighting rumble. The Central City councilman was slugged twice in the kisser when he tried to stop a late-night argument in a neighbor's yard. Apparently, it took all the fight out of the councilman.

The TKO did not require a hospital visit.

Low-rent paparazzi

Santiquin's celeb-in-residence Gary Coleman, towering star of such artistic milestones as Diff'rent Strokes and Church Ball, is, alas, no Princess Di.

Apparently the paparazzi in the form of one Colt Rushton tried to get some exclusive photos of Coleman, who was spotted in Payson bowling alley. Entertainment Weekly, surely, would pay big bucks for that photo!

Hounded into the parking lot by the celebrity-crazed mob of one, Coleman backed his truck over the aspiring paparazzi's foot. (The move would have been scored as a spare had Coleman reversed direction and hit Rushton again.)

Police on the scene — who began their interrogation of Coleman with "What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" — have yet to issue a citation to anyone.

Pizza Girl strikes back!

Sen. Curt Bramble's opponent Radene Hatfield may be the underdog, but she sure knows how to make a campaign interesting.

Hatfield has brought a heavy hitter onto her team — Bramble's No.1 nemesis: Pizza Girl*.

By now, we all know the legend that is repeated in hushed tones around Provo's 16th Senate District. While making a delivery to Bramble's home, Pizza Girl was forced to endure a lecture from the ultra-important Senate majority leader.

The reason? The SENATE MAJORITY LEADER wanted to pay with a check! Pizza Girl, a mere cog in the capitalist machine, was required to accept only cash or credit card.

As part of his attempted intimidation of courageous, not to mention bored, Pizza Girl, Bramble delivered a blow-hard quote that will live on in infamy (or at least in the blogosphere):

Look, I'm the majority leader of the state Senate. Do you know what that means? I'm a public figure. If I bounced a check, it would be all over the papers. I'd lose my reputation!

Following this Gettysburg Address of credit reports, Bramble had the temerity to give Pizza Girl a lousy tip.

Pizza Girl's first job as a Hatfield campaign volunteer was to bring pizza for her fellow workers. I hope Hatfield's a generous tipper — the election could swing on it.

*Some say her true identity is Anna Eagar, above, but it sounds like an alias to me.

Monday, September 8, 2008

A deal's a deal...sometimes

The hottest ticket on the East Coast is to what the Wall Street Journal's Deal Journal blog is calling the "busted-buyout battle royal" between Huntsman chemical companies and Apollo Management-owned Hexion Specialty Chemicals.

Hexion agreed to buy Huntsman for $6.5 billion, then broke the deal like a cheap Styrofoam clam shell, arguing that Huntsman's weak financial performance excuses their boorish behavior.

Jon Huntsman Sr., billionaire and author of Winners Never Cheat, is apparently quite disillusioned with Apollo/Hexion execs and views taking them to court as a less satisfying option to staking them out on ant hills.

The six-day trial is being held in Wilmington, Del., and tickets for seats are going for as high as $250. Savvy investment types paid line-sitters to get to court early to save seats for them.

For a very readable account of the trial, go here.

9/11 101

Tribune education writer Ben Fulton explores the challenges of teaching the events of Sept. 11, 2001.

Like many Americans, Katie Holmes, a 17-year-old Bingham High junior isn't entirely clear on what has come be known as simply 9/11:

I know it was historic, but in a bad way. It was terrorists from the Middle East who did it — I think. The war in Iraq is probably part of it.

Actually, Katie has about the same level of understanding of the attacks as the Bush Administration.

Nineteen highjackers commandeered commercial airliners to deliver a series of suicide attacks that killed nearly 3,000. Now, teachers like Jose Bernardo Fanjul, an honors teacher in U.S. history at West High School, have to help their students make sense of it:

I really go all out, because for this generation nothing else comes close [in historical significance], even if now most of my students remember it only from grade school.

Don't mess with the new bishop

The LDS church announced that the number of copies of Book of Mormon printed has topped 140 million — in more than 100 languages.

All of which didn't thrill me much until I learned that one of those languages is Klingon! Check out the translation of the highly appropriate BOM 1 Nephi 1:

Yea, I make a record in the language of my father, which consists of the learning of the Jews and the language of the Egyptians.

In Klingon is:
paq vIghItlh vavwI' Holmo', SoHbogh jewpu' lurDechmey je 'ejipnganpu' Hol.

Apparently the mass conversion of the boney headed, short-tempered warrior race is well underway.

And you thought ward basketball was bad now.

Camps for opportunistic politicians?

Congressional hopeful Jason Chaffetz succeeded in unseating long-time Third District Congressman Chris Cannon by running far enough to the right to satisfy even Utah County, where Cannon's Bush-leaning ideas on immigration reform were seen as too liberal.

Chaffetz's iron-fisted immigration talk is pure political boloney, of course. The former NuSkin salesman has no ideology besides getting Jason Chaffetz elected. And what is easier to do in Utah County than beat up on outsiders?

Unfortunately, the stench of Chaffetz's ultra-right gasbaggery is spreading nationwide. Japanese-American Congressman Mike Honda in California got a whiff. Honda remembers the last time U.S. authorities rounded up "illegals" and shoved them into internment camps.

Jason Chaffetz's comments are more than just offensive and embarrassing to all Americans; they demonstrate a blatant disregard of the need to be vigilant in remembering the lessons learned from a disgraceful chapter in U.S. history.

Chaffetz has the chutzpah to demand an apology from Honda for misrepresenting his tent camp plan. The Salt Lake Tribune's Robert Gerhke blogs on Chaffetz spinning his razor-wire enclosed tent camps into something different than the classic internment camps like Utah's Topaz. But Honda won't back down:

The only apology that should be made is by Mr. Chaffetz to the American public for injecting extremism into a sensitive and serious debate on immigration.

Bring it on

Sen. Howard Stephenson is hosting a weekly talk radio show that he says will be an antedote to the "grossly unfair" treatment of lawmakers by the news media.

We're going to be taking names and kicking 'A' when it comes to reporters misreporting what happens. . . .

When a reporter goes wrong, he or she will be held accountable by the legislators on this two-hour show.

Here's the KCPW interview with Stephenson.

The show, of course, follows an Internet assault on the Deseret News over an article several GOP leaders, including Senate President John Valentine, say was fabricated by politics editor Bob Bernick. The DNews has yet to offer a public response to the allegations.

Stephenson's show could be much more fun than even he imagines. With Howie and other lawmakers in the K-Talk hot seat, Utahns might waste a little of their Saturday morning to call in to nail them with challenging questions. Perhaps Majority Leader Curt Bramble could discuss tipping guidelines for pizza delivery girls.

Here's one: Who owns Sen. Stephenson?

Howie's day job is president of the lobbying powerhouse the Utah Taxpayers Association. Sounds like he represents slobs like you and me, right? Unfortunately, Stephenson won't tell us exactly who his contributors are or what they pay him to be Utah's ultra-unique lobbyist/lawmaker. (Once again the Utah Legislature is on the cutting edge: Why have lobbyists influence lawmakers when you can have lobbyist and legislator combined into one. I wonder if Howie expenses it when he takes himself to lunch?)

Am I being grossly unfair? Tune in (AM 630) Saturday, 8 to 10 a.m., to find out.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Chaffetz's Topaz plan

U.S. Rep. Mike Honda of California, chairman of the Congressional Asian Pacific American Caucus, says Jason Chaffetz's call to create "tent cities" to detain undocumented immigrants is shameful. Caffetz is running for Chris Cannon's seat.

Today, 66 years after the executive order was signed to intern over 100,000 Japanese Americans, Utah congressional candidate Jason Chaffetz's call to create "tent cities" to detain immigrants conjures images and memories that many Americans, including myself, find painful.

Jason Chaffetz's comments are more than just offensive and embarrassing to all Americans; they demonstrate a blatant disregard of the need to be vigilant in remembering the lessons learned from a disgraceful chapter in U.S. history.

Honda says Chaffetz "has intentionally used intolerance to promote his own political agenda":

At a time when our country is facing significant challenges on serious issues, Americans deserve thoughtful leaders in Congress who won't try to lead us down that shameful path again.

Freaky Mormon Gurl

I was at the immortal Al Green's concert at Red Butte Gardens this week. The most touching part was the hordes (I use the word conservatively) of women who were rushing the stage to get a kiss and a rose from the 62-year-old reverend.

No one who has heard Green's music and seen him move on stage would find that unusual. Besides, Utah has a shortage of soul, not to mention black men, apparently making both exotic to the "Utah" culture. (Ask Sen. Chris Buttars.)

Thus, I wasn't surprised when I stumbled across a fresh entry on I Date White… The Interracial Dating Blog. Eathan says Mormon Girl flies regularly to Dallas for a "care package visit."

I call it that because she can’t get enough and that’s all she cares about during her visit. . . . Yes, she’s religious. But she comes to visit a couple times a year to get wild and freaky. So I refer to her as my Mormon Gurl.

Eathan says he'll be posting "juicy details" here after her next visit. Until then, this goes out to Mormon Gurl:

One family

Of note to Utah lawmakers contemplating introducing more proposals to fight illegal immigration, possibly even sanctions against employers who hire undocumented workers—Arizona got a plea from lawmakers from Sonora, Mexico, where such laws have a direct and dire impact.

The Tucson Citizen reports that Sonora cannot handle the demand for housing, jobs and schools it will face as illegal Mexican workers are forced to return to their hometowns from the U.S. Mexican Rep. Leticia Amparano Gamez of Nogales questioned the stricter state laws:

How can they pass a law like this?

There is not one person living in Sonora who does not have a friend or relative working in Arizona. Mexico is not prepared for this, for the tremendous problems [if Mexicans working in Arizona and sending money to their families return to Sonora]. [Arizonans and Mexicans] are one family, socially and economically.

Utah's li'l maverick*

No wonder Jon Huntsman feels a kinship with vice-presidential candidate and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin — they are both extremely popular in their states. According to the Rasmusen Report the most popular (rated good or excellent by their constituents) U.S. governors are:

John Hoevenk, R-N.D., 73 percent
Mike Beebe, D-Ark. 68 percent
Jon Huntsman - 68 percent
Dave Heineman, R-Neb., 66 percent
Sarah Palin - 64 percent

I'd like to point out that popular governors are overwhelmingly Republican. (Not to mention that they lead states nobody in their right mind wants to live in.) And the least popular U.S. governors are predominately Democrats from populous states.

Beyond that, Huntsman doesn't share many characteristics with the veep candidate whom he described

in his intro as:

She's a hockey mom, a hunter, a hard-hitting reformer, and quite frankly, she's not afraid in a little town called Washington to kick a few fannies and raise a little hell.

At this point, Utahns, already shocked by the Guv using the H-word, lost consciousness when Jon actually raised his voice.

In a world of artificiality, we are looking for originality, we are looking for authenticity, we are looking for a rebel, a renegade - we are looking for Sarah!

*Hey, he rides a motorcycle and listens to Captain Beefheart.

Letting go

A billboard in Phoenix beckons to Mormons who have left the faith, saying:

You are not alone!

The sign is paid for by the Logan-based Post-Mormons group. One of the people who contributed to the billboard is Arizonian Paul Hahn, a former-missionary who left the LDS church after 20 years:

Mormonism, itself, is a culture. When you leave it, most of your friends are generally not going to be interested in continuing their friendships with you, so it is very important to find new people to hang out with.

Don Evans, a spokesman for the LDS church in Arizona, confirms what has always puzzled me about ex-Mormons — they don't just get on with their lives:

Generally, what we find is that oftentimes people who leave the church don't leave quietly. They sometimes leave bitterly and want to make some sort of a statement.

Happy days are here again

When John McCain called for change at the Republican National Convention, he was talking to a crowd that, in terms of diversity, is a throwback to simpler — and whiter — times.

National Public Radio reports on the noticeable decline in minority delegates at the RNC. Of the more than 2,300 delegates at the convention, 93 percent of delegates are white and only 5 percent are Latino. Only 36 are black (1.5%)

Comedy Central's Jon Stewart wasn't exaggerating much by putting up a billboard outside the Twin Cities:

Welcome, Rich White Oligarchy.

Utah's delegation reflects the same pattern: Only one non-Anglo sat with the 68 delegates (1.5%). Latinos make up about 12 percent of the state's population.

But Sean Reyes, a Salt Lake City lawyer and alternate delegate who is a Japanese-Hawaiian- Spanish=Filipino-American told the Trib's Tommy Burr that the blame for lack of diversity falls on minorities for not taking advantage of the GOP's openess.

The party has welcomed us with open arms. It's not an indictment of the party, but an opportunity for us to do more with the party.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Fire and Mittstone

Mitt Romney's populist speech that wowed the Republican National Convention left the so-called Elite Media scratching its heads. (Click here for the video of the speech.)

The Dallas Morning News puzzled over it:

Listening to Mitt Romney address the Republican National Convention, you'd hardly know that Republicans have held the White House 28 of the last 40 years, nominated seven of the nine Supreme Court justices and held Congress for 12 of the last 14 years.
We need change all right," he told cheering GOP delegates. "Change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington!"

The Wall Street Journal's Law Blog asked its readers to help make sense of Romney's curious statement about the Supreme Court:

Let me ask you — what do you think Washington is right now, liberal or conservative?

Is a Supreme Court decision liberal or conservative that awards Guantanamo terrorists with constitution rights?* It’s liberal!

WSJ says the night was supposed to be about Sarah Palin's speech: But we’ll also remember it for another reason: Mitt Romney’s line about the Supreme Court.

Andrew Sullivan at the Atlantic called Mitt's oratory “A largely content-free speech that went out on a limb, defending patriotism, attacking liberals, vowing to defeat evil and defend the family."

I was somewhat surprised to hear that the GOP is about cutting spending, and restraining government, and that liberals have been in charge for the last quarter of a century - but, hey, this is the Republican Convention. Reality is what they say it is.”

Even the conservative The Washington Times was given pause, finally guessing that Mitt has his eyes on the 2012 presidential race and the speech was "by far the most obvious attempt to further solidify his reputation among the GOP hardcore conservative base as their standard-bearer."

The speech can only be called nakedly partisan, and it talks minimally about John McCain. Instead, it is a fire and brimstone screed of conservative vs. liberal.

And it isn't just the American Elite Media—Daniel Nasaw a Brit observing for the Guardian says:

I'm totally baffled by Mitt Romney's speech to the GOP convention. The conventioneers responded like the crocodiles being fed raw meat in the Bond flick Live and Let Die. But taken even on their face, his words are an indictment of the Republican party whose nomination he spent roughly $35 million to win.

Tell me Mitt isn't coming back gangbusters in 2012.

*One WSJ reader's answer: The Constitution is neither liberal nor conservative. Thank God this guy’s millions couldn’t buy him the Presidency.

Presidential candidate visits Utah

With all the excitement of the Republican National Celebration of Pregnant Alaskan Teens, you might have missed a historic presidential campaign milestone closer to home.

The Green Party's candidate for president Cynthia McKinney, who says she is the first black woman candidate for president (her running mate is Puerto Rican-American Rosa Clemente) visited Utah's Capitol to put her name on the ballot.

We believe in our country, and we believe in the value of participating in the political process. We participate in politics because we want our values reflected in public policy. And to the extent that we can provide voters choice so that the voters can vote their values, then our system is much stronger, and our country is much stronger.

Green activist blogger Dee Taylor is disgusted with the tiny amount of media attention given McKinney (newspaper and TV reporters ignored the press releases):

Meanwhile, the big headline news on the front page of Utah newspapers this week was - no, not Hurricane Gustav or the RNC (although they had their places on the front page), or the plight of our health care or education systems in the U.S., or the travesty of strip mining our mountains in the West - it was (drum roll please).....

Jessica Robinson from Sandy, Utah winning one million dollars on "Deal or No Deal".

Now THAT'S news worthy of a flashy front page spread!

Answering Utah's E questions

This winter Utahns finally may get to seriously discuss a couple of the biggest questions confronting the state: energy development and its impact on the environment.

Kathy Biele of the City Weekly offers a closer look at a proposal recently put forward by state Rep. Roger Barrus, chairman of the Natural Resources, Agriculture and Environment Committee, to examine Utah's energy potential in depth.

Barrus has joined with Bjørn Lomborg, a Danish economist, above, who founded the Copenhagen Consensus Center that tackles the earth's health and economic challenges, to bring together a panel of energy/environmental/economic experts. The group will explore in detail the cost of aggressively developing Utah's energy sources that include coal, oil, natural gas, coal shale, geothermal and wind.

The potential of the panel's work, of course, could be undercut by politics. Environmentalists fear the deck is already stacked because Lomborg is a high-profile skeptic of global warming.

Utah and Palin

Utah's political culture, which is as unique and goofy as everything else around here, has been trying to get its arms around John McCain's vice presidential running mate Sarah Palin. A tough conservative Republican woman politician with an out-of-wedlock knocked-up daugther throws Utah's politicos for a loop.

Republicans, at least, have been given their talking points, that include, of course, attacking the media for any negative coverage. Sen. Orrin Hatch stuck to the line relentlessly while addressing California delegates, calling questions about Palin's experience "sexist" and a "pile-on."

I think it's demeaning, it's dismissive of women to think that a woman has run a small town, they're dismissive of small-town America. If it's not a big city, it's nothing to them (the mainstream media).

The closest Gov. Jon Huntsman got to doing his bit for Palin — having had his speech to the RNC bumped — was giving a talk to the Utah delegation. Huntsman's national interview on NBC was overshadowed by an open microphone scandal. NBC muffed the segue to Huntsman's interview and accidentally broadcast a scathing critique of Palin by Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan and Republican consultant Mike Murphy when someone left a microphone switched on.

Murphy: ...because I come out of a blue swing-state governor world. Engler. Whitman. Tommy Thompson. Mitt Romney. Jeb Bush. And I mean, and these guys, this is all like how you win a Texas race, just run it up. And, IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK.

Noonan: IT'S OVER.

. . .

NBC's Chuck Todd: Is she really the most qualified woman?

Noonan: Most qualified? NO. I think they went for this, excuse me, political bullshit about narratives.

Meanwhile, Utah Democrats are backpedalling as fast as they can from a press release that blasted Palin for being a "devout member of an anti-Mormon denomination." The Dems' point: How could any self-respecting Mormon vote for the McCain-Palin ticket?

But the Assemblies of God church says it has no doctrine regarding Mormons. Besides, Palin hasn't attended the church in years.

State GOP Chairman Stan Lockhart is calling the press release "religion-baiting." And state Democratic Chairman Wayne Holland just wants the whole thing to go away.

And Mormon bloggers, after countless online searches, have finally given up on Palin being a Mormon.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Journalists busted in St. Paul

The host and two producers of Democracy Now! carried locally by community radio station KRCL, were arrested in St. Paul outside the Republican National Convention. You can watch a video of Amy Goodman's arrest here as she attempts to intervene in the arrest of the show's producers.

Ramsey County Sheriff Bob Fletcher says the producers were arrested on suspicion of rioting. Adding to the 295 demonstrators arrested so far.

Democracy Now! reports:

During the demonstration in which the Democracy Now! team was arrested, law enforcement officers used pepper spray, rubber bullets, concussion grenades and excessive force against protesters and journalists.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell told the Utah delegation that the protesters are "crazies":

With these crazies running around in the streets, these are not the people you want to enable to take over the government of the United States. You don't want to bring the crazies into the house — to give them the keys to the place.

The Salt Lake Tribune's Tommy Burr asked McConnell if he was linking the protesters to Obama supporters:

I don't know what they are. They certainly are out of the mainstream of America.

Malone delivers the DNA

The Deseret News' Michael Black writes an astonishing article about retired Jazz great Karl Malone. Here's just a taste*:

After spending 19 years of focusing on basketball 24/7, it is odd to hear about Karl Malone the husband, father and family man.
"My typical day begins about 5 or 5:30 in the morning. I'll get up, go train for a while and then help my kids get ready," he said. "I like to make sure that my kids get off to school. I either take them or just make sure they get there."
Even in retirement, Malone's main focus is still delivering.

Whatta guy! What a role model for all of us.

Black has apparently bumped his head and forgotten (the article never even hints it) that Malone has fathered children that he failed to acknowledge for years. That's not counting a son who says dear ol' dad as "delivered" little more than some DNA.

Malone refuses to acknowledge as his son Demetrius Bell, drafted by the Buffalo Bills. But Bell is doing OK:

I treat it as if my mother went to the sperm bank. I don't hate him for [not being in my life]. It made me a better person.

Pithy sentiment, but not something Hallmark would put on a Father's Day card.

So you can understand why I got concerned when I read this quote in Black's wet kiss on the Mailman's backside:

"I am writing in my journals things as I see them. I'm not writing it to be published, but more for me and my family. Maybe someday I will get them together and print off 20 copies or so and give them to my kids, but it is just for us."

Yikes! Does that mean there's another dozen or so Karl and Karlottas scampering around out there?

*Vomit alert!

We Got Ours School District

The PR agency Love Communications is running a contest:

NEW SCHOOL DISTRICT NEEDS A NEW NAME.
A special prize will be given to the finalist of a naming contest for the new school district in southeast Salt Lake Valley. . . .

The "new" district is, of course, the breakaway eastern part of the Jordan School District, including Sandy, Cottonwood Heights and Alta, that split because its demographically older, richer constituents don't want to pay to educate the teeming school-aged hordes to the west.

If you'd like to join the fun contest of making up a name for the controversial district, you have until Sept. 26.

To prime the pump, here are some more suggestions:

Not My Problem S.D.

We're Outta Here S.D.

Or the minimalist, but catchy: Jordan Lite

Jon on John

Gov. Jon Huntsman is in St. Paul, carrying out his duty to promote John McCain with zest.

Huntsman told the Louisiana delegation to the National Republican Convention that while on a trade mission to Vietnam in 2001, he visited the "Hanoi Hilton," where McCain was held prisoner and viewed the downed pilot's flight suit.

Huntsman, who had yet to meet McCain, says he was awed by the older man's courage. The governor, an early supporter of McCain, says people often ask how McCain at 72 is going to connect with young voters, "I'm here to tell you he already has."

Huntsman says his sons, 18 and 16, are "so inspired by (McCain's) life and commitment that they want to serve their country in uniform.''

Every one knows his story. Everybody knows he suffered. The John McCain story is powerful, especially for a younger generation coming up and looking for guideposts.

How cool is it to be able to point to an American original who is about as authentic as you can get.

McCain's critics, of course, complain that if the Vietnam hero is elected president, Huntsman's kids, indeed, may get their wish to wear camo — in Iraq.

McCain unleashed the media

It's obvious the Deseret News needs to send columnist Lee Benson out of town more often.

He has delivered another good read from the road, this time from the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, where Benson chews on the Sarah Palin controversy.

He says the GOP's defense of Palin's right to privacy and criticism of the media's digging misses the point:

. . . by introducing Palin as a dedicated, wholesome, anti-abortion former beauty queen "hockey mom" who hunts and fishes and rides snowmobiles and shoots guns and raises her children with a smile, it is the politicians who brought family, and family activities, into the discussion in the first place.
The McCain campaign was the first to invade Palin's privacy and expose her family life to the world, but just the G-rated good parts.

LDS woman fired for faith

A California woman says she was fired because she is a member of the LDS church.

Judy Clark of Thermal, Calif., is suing a family owned chain of mobile-home parks, saying she was forced from her job in 2003 — just a few weeks after she had discovered a company memo calling the LDS church a cult and recommending its activities be banned from the parks.

Two other Mormon employees were also fired.

The memo came out meeting of "chaplains" of a nonprofit evangelical ministry organized for the three mobile-home parks. The memo called for Mormonism, Jehovah's Witnesses, the Baha'i faith, New Ageism and other religions . . .

. . . held to be conflictive with our evangelical Christian world view and practice be disallowed from resort park promotions and facilities.

Interestingly, Clark is being represented in the case by the Seventh-day Adventist Church State Council, which specializes in religious freedom cases.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Who declared war on Piute County?

Between looking for satellite images of naked people and Street View evidence of their neighbors having affairs, some Google Maps geeks discovered that a satellite camera had captured a guided missile cruising west of Junction in Piute County, destination unknown.

The Inquisitor blog guesses it is an Air Force Sidewinder air-to-air missile, but it looks to me more like a Tomahawk cruise missile with a hot date at the Dugway Proving Grounds.

Guv gets the hook

Word from St. Paul is that Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman's speech has been bumped indefinitely from the Republican National Convention schedule. The shuffle was put down to making space for President Bush to speak.

But the change followed Huntsman's announcing that his speech was going to call for increased environmental activism in the GOP and return to the conservation legacy begun by Teddy Roosevelt.

Huntsman also was quoted with a group of Republican delegates in questioning the accomplishments of the Bush administration. Huntsman diplomatically excused Bush, saying the events following Sept. 11 blocked any development of a traditionally conservative agenda.

All of the oxygen was taken out of the room. There was no real opportunity to build a real party vision. He's done his best trying to manage events that have been thrown at him.

Then comes word Huntsman's tree-hugging speech has been dumped.

Coincidence? I think not.

Jon, an early McCain stalwart, better call in some chips.

Mitt is born again on abstinence

Mitt Romney, who some dare call a flip-flopper, offers yet another version of the ever-changing Mittideology.

The Boston Globe's politcal blog reports that Mitt's most recent zig came when responding to questions in Minnesota about his view on sex education policy following news that GOP veep candidate Sarah Palin's teenage daughter is preggers.

Mitt now says abstinence only should be part of a comprehensive sex education curriculum.

I would not propose that people don't get any sex education but abstinence.

When Mitt entered the Republican presidential primary in 2006, he proclaimed that he would funnel a federal education grant — which Massachusetts had been using to promote abstinence as a component of a comprehensive sex education program — into school programs that taught abstinence only.

The "Healthy Futures" program, later abandoned by Mitt's successor Gov. Deval Patrick, taught that premarital sex is harmful and that abstinence is the only way to prevent pregnancy.

The killer bees of the blogosphere

The Trib's Paul Rolly probes the ongoing battle between several powerful lawmakers and the Deseret News.

Background: An angry swarm of killer bees,* including Senate President John Valentine, right, and attack dog Rep. Steve Urquhart used blog power to rip into dead tree-media DNews politics editor Bob Bernick for being a "liar." They say the DNews ran a erroneous news story reporting that legislative leaders were considering eviscerating the state's referendum law.

Then, instead of simply admitting the error, they say the DNews arrogantly ran a follow-up article that implied the legislators had reversed course on the issue or were being dishonest about their intentions.

Most of the electorate yawned and passed it off as another case of liars calling lyin' liars, er, liars, etc.

About the only thing Rolly's column adds to our understanding of the conflict is that the DNews has become a bughouse since GOP hack Joe Cannon took over as editor.

Exhibit A: DNews assistant city editor Josh Loftin defends Bernick's story:

The information was accurate based on what Valentine said before.

That is, the screwup isn't that bad because the story would have been accurate six months ago. (Take heart Josh: Bernick's story also might be accurate in the future or in a parallel universe— just not here and now.)

Exhibit B

: DNews' editorial page chief Jay Evensen carefully spouts:

It will be a cold day in Death Valley before I ever allow an elected official to tell me what to put in the paper.

Jay, of course, knows that, unlike Hell, it is possible to have freezing winter temperatures in Death Valley — just in time for the next legislative session.

*A famous phrase previously used by Sen. Howie Stephenson to describe the lyin' liars of the news media — for which Bernick skewered him.

Isn't football special ed.?

I'm sure educational voucher opponents are stuffing a folder with clippings on the failed Utah Southvalley Community School in preparation for the Legislature's next attempt to pass a statewide voucher program.

The school in Woodland Hills that focused on children with Asperger's syndrome went belly up last week after its new board president Bob Jones, right, desperately tried to transform it into a sports magnet. (How do you spell WTF?)

But a mystery remains: What happened to tens of thousands of dollars of taxpayer money in the form of Carson Smith Special Needs Scholarships?

Carson Smith is the shining example that voucher supporters cited in their defense of the state's short-lived comprehensve program that was crushed in a referendum vote last fall.

Parents of special needs kids fear that Jones diverted the school's $160,000 in Carson Smith money into sports.

Angie Avery, the defunct school's former secretary muses:

I don't know where the (special education) money went. But it wouldn't surprise me if it went toward football.

Who's he kidding?

Mitt fibs to the Utah delegation at the Republican National Convention that he won't run for president in 2012.

I do not anticipate doing it again. [Though] it was a great experience.

He also says he would “really not enjoy serving on the cabinet."

Poor Mitt. After being tossed aside like a broken toy by John McCain, he claims he hasn't given much thought to his political future.

No thought at all to becoming Utah's U.S. senator (residence in Deer Valley). Or California's governor (house in La Jolla). But Mitt says he'll continue working for GOP candidates, including McCain, just because it's so darn much fun.

In an analysis of the growing mess that is the McCain-Palin ticket, Wonkette is probably onto something:

The Word You’re Looking For, Mitt Romney, Is ‘Schadenfreude.’

Update: Ron Kaufman, a close friend of Romney's who worked on his presidential campaign, says he and Mitt had a bet on whether Romney would be McCain's running mate.

Romney bet that he would not make it.

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If you want to send me a tip (the reporter in me dies hard) or photos of goofy or horrible stuff, email gwarchol@sltrib.com.