Salt Lake Crawler

Monday roundup —

• Elna Baker, a Mormon stand-up comedian, sold one of her routines to the New York Post in the form of a Halloween reminiscence of dressing up for an LDS singles party as a fortune cookie. Baker discovered too late that she looked like something else again.

My jaw dropped open in horror, No. No. No. No. No.

The center of my costume had begun to fold in on itself, creating these flesh-toned flaps. I did not look like a fortune cookie. I looked like a giant vagina. And you can’t go to a Mormon dance dressed like a giant vagina.

• Speaking of creepy Halloween parties, Gov Gary Herbert shook down special interests at his "Moonstruck" Gala, bringing in a record amount of swag — $1 million. Half of Herbert's money came from a handful of sponsors, who paid up to $50,000 for special recognition at Gary's ball. Exactly who brought those treats to get special tricks from Herbert should be posted today.

"We'll be working hard to make sure we empower the private sector to make sure they do what they do best and that is grow the economy."

• The Navajo Nation is being rocked by an environmental controversy over a coal burning power plant near the Utah Border. Navajo Nation President Joe Shirley Jr. is facing off environmentalists who oppose coal-fired power plants on the reservation. But the dispute brings up questions of heritage and religion as well.

• In Great Britain, texting while driving is the equivalent of drunken driving. Utah, despite groundbreaking research at the University of Utah into the dangers of cell phoning while driving, recently passed a mild law against texting while driving and still has no law against talking on a cellphone while driving.

The crash might once have been written off as a tragic accident. Ms. Curtis’s alcohol level was zero. But her phone, which had flown onto the road and was handed to the police by a witness, told a story that — under new British sentencing guidelines — would send its owner to jail.

In the hour before the crash, she had exchanged nearly two dozen messages with at least five friends, . . .

• Utah State researchers have discovered patterns in the sea-surface temperatures in the Pacific Ocean and the precep in northern Utah that could help manage water use in the West. Expect the USU research to be applied to roulette in Vegas.

• The Wall Street Journal offers a concise wrap of last week's trial of a FLDS member Raymond Merril Jessop, on charges of sexually assaulting a minor he had taken as one of his nine "spiritual wives." A jury was seated last week, but testimony was ended because of the illness of a juror's child.