Village Vidiot: TV

Just to show you that university professors really need to get out more and stop wasting taxpayer dollars on useless research, a pair of academics at the University of Edinburgh in Scotland claim that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer could not possibly be male because male reindeer shed their antlers before Christmas.

One of the professors "suggested if Rudolph was not a female then he may have been a eunuch. When a male reindeer is castrated it stops the process of casting the antlers in the winter time, and they turn into being more like females," according to a story in England's Telegraph.

He added: "Rudolph could be a castrated male, or a female. I think it's nicest to think that Rudolph was a female!"

OK, that's way too much information. But if Rudolph's a female and he, er, she had the hots for the cute little reindeer Clarice, that means Rudolph's gay. Just try and catch those two kissing on the Salt Lake City Mormon Temple grounds.