A word of advice to sometime Utah County resident Gary Coleman: Sometimes they're not laughing with you, but at you.

The former "Diff'rent Strokes" child star - in the spirit of Eddie Gaedel - made his minor-league debut Friday night, as lead-off batter for the Madison Mallards of the summer college-player Northwoods League. To say it was not a great day for baseball would be putting it mildly.




As Coleman came up to the plate (and striking the Babe Ruth "called shot" pose, no less), the manager of the visiting Eau Claire Express complained to the umpire about the amount of pine tar on Coleman's bat. The umpire inspected the bat, found it corked with super-bounce balls, and ejected Coleman from the game.

"It's gonna be a short night for you, Gary," said the umpire, delivering his pre-scripted lines with more authenticity than Coleman. Coleman accused the ump of maligning his height, and Coleman tried an Earl Weaver-style chest bump - though it was more chest-to-belly bump.

People who live for baseball were not impressed.

"I don't know how much of a boost in attendance the Mallards saw from the Coleman appearance, but I guarantee it was not worth it," Tom Ziller wrote for The Sporting News' blog. "Kids in the audience actually decided to give up baseball because of that."

Coleman's appearance was so embarrassing to baseball that there's talk he might sign with the Seattle Mariners. (Ooh, snap! It's OK, I'm a Mariners fan - I can diss my own team when it sucks.)

(Photo: Home Run Derby)