Orrin Hatch - United States senator, or stand-up comedian?

Utah's senior senator played both roles Tuesday, when he spoke at a luncheon sponsored by the Motion Picture Association of America, Hollywood's lobbying arm in Washington, D.C.

According to this account in The Hollywood Reporter, Hatch talked seriously about politics to the assembled audience - which included the heads of most of the major movie studios - about pushing legislation to fight "the pervasive problem of piracy" of intellectual property. Hatch also opined that President Barack Obama's budget and tax policies will hurt industry, including the movie business.

Then Hatch put on his metaphorical clown nose.

Looking at Walt Disney Studios chairman Dick Cook, Hatch said, "Disney, you meet our standards. The rest of you bums, I'll tell you..."

He also recalled filming a 15-minute scene for Steven Soderbergh's movie "Traffic," which was cut to 11 seconds in the movie. "I'm really resentful of you people," Hatch said.

Here, according to The Hollywood Reporter, was Hatch's capper:

Hatch also earned laughs with a list of things he has learned from the movies. It included: Fleeing heroes can always find cover in a St. Patrick's Day parade any day and soldiers survive wars unless making the mistake of showing someone a picture of their sweetheart back home.

Thank you. You've been a great audience. Tip your waiters.

Labels: Barack Obama, movies, Orrin Hatch, politics

Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch spoke up for a Grammy-winning rapper doing a 14-year drug sentence - a man who will be freed by Christmas, after President George W. Bush commuted his sentence this week.

John Edward Forte had recorded his own rap CDs, and was a producer for the Fugees. According to this Washington Post account, Forte was arrested in 2000 in Newark International Airport with two briefcases containing 31 pounds of liquid cocaine. A first-time offender, the 33-year-old Forte received a minimum prison sentence of 14 years.

Thanks to the commutation, Forte (whose supporters have maintained a web site calling for his freedom) will be released from prison at Fort Dix, N.J., on Dec. 22 - though he will continue to serve five years' probation.

Hatch and singer Carly Simon were among those who advocated leniency for Forte. In a January 2007 letter to Bush, Hatch wrote, "Now is the perfect opportunity for John to be given the chance to provide positive benefits to society through his considerable musical talents."

UPDATE: The Tribune's Robert Gehrke filed this excellent account of how Hatch, via Carly Simon, got involved in Forte's case.

Labels: George W. Bush, Orrin Hatch

TMZ.com, the bottom-feeders of tabloid TV, ambushed Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch at the Republican National Convention, asking if there should be a comparison between Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and celebrity mom Lynne Spears - because they both have had to deal with their teen-age daughters' pregnancies.

Hatch brushed off the TMZ guy politely but firmly, as this video shows.

TMZ is late to the party, anyway. Most everyone - from Barack Obama to Lindsay Lohan (no, seriously, Lindsay Lohan has weighed in on this, and quite intelligently, too) - has declared Palin's daughter Bristol off-limits.

It's not about the politician's family, it's about the politician's policies.

Labels: Barack Obama, John McCain, Orrin Hatch, politics, Sarah Palin

So what's the deal with the splotch on Orrin Hatch's forehead?

Comedy Central's Indecision 2008 blog snapped a photo of the Utah Republican senator at Boston's Logan Airport (delivering a CD to Teddy Kennedy, perhaps?) and noticed his new facial deformity.

Is he returning home from a Mikhail Gorbachev look-a-like contest (which he lost to Larry Craig)? Is he trying to introduce bindis to the Mormon faith? Did he step on a rake deftly planted by Senate prankster Russ Feingold (D-WI)? Or is it none of the above?

Alas, the real explanation is more prosaic. The Tribune's D.C. intern Lindsay Hough reported Sunday that Hatch took a tumble while walking last week. Even so, he appeared on CNBC Tuesday to talk about union-busting legislation.

(HT: Glen Warchol, the Tribune's Salt Lake Crawler)

Labels: Orrin Hatch

Massachusetts Sen. Ted Kennedy's battle with brain cancer - and a request from Democratic senators - has inspired Utah's senior senator, Republican Orrin Hatch, to write a song about his colleague, according to this Boston Globe article.

"Sailing home, sailing home. America, America, we're headed home at last/ Just honor him, honor him, and every fear will be a thing of the past," the lyrics go.

The song could be played as a tribute to Kennedy next month at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. (Kennedy himself won't be there, as he's continuing his treatment for cancer.)

OK, I could say something snarky, like "Hasn't Kennedy suffered enough?" But there's something sweet and beautiful in the friendship between two senators on opposite sides of the political spectrum.

Labels: Orrin Hatch, politics